“Weird, right? I didn’t even know what that was until last year. Kids these days, having all these newfangled terms. Corey taught me that. He’s pretty smart, that one.”
“Anyway. Back to the whole cheating-on-me thing—”
“You are actually terrible.”
“I lose sleep at night over it,” she assured me. “But our histories are too intertwined to ever be able to let any of us go.”
“That can’t possibly be healthy.”
“Probably not. A therapist would have a field day with all of us, I’m sure.”
“Eh. They kind of already do.”
“The Kid?”
“He’s getting there.”
“And you?”
“Honestly? I’m relieved.”
“About coming home?”
“Yeah. It’s…. I think it’s probably for the best. It doesn’t feel like we’re running away. It’s more like we’re ready to face what we left behind.”
“That’s surprisingly mature of you,” she said.
“Right? We’re getting old.”
“I’m still pretty, so I’m fine with that.”
I laughed. “God, I can’t wait to see you.”
“Me too,” she said, sounding pleased. “I’ve got a cleaning service coming out to the Green Monstrosity. The tenants you guys had in there left everything looking okay, but it should be scrubbed from top to bottom.”
“Oh, hey, you don’t have to do that.”
“Already done. Consider it a welcome-home present. But if you really wanted to repay me, I can tell you how.”
“I’m not going to do a threesome with you and Creed, no matter how much he said you wanted one.”
“He said what?”
“Uh. Nothing? How about that… sports… ball game on TV last night? My team totally won the touchdown—”
“I am going to murder him,” she growled. “I had had one too many glasses of wine, and it was a joke.”
“Oh my god.”
“I wasn’t being serious. It was just a… thing.”
“Oh my god.”
“Stop saying that!”
“You want me to have sex with you and Creed?”
Of course, that’s when Otter walked into the room.