“Wow. Okay, I was kidding at first. But I’m actually getting turned on right now.”
He rubs a big hand up my arm and shoulder, fingers curling around my neck as his thumb brushes over my cheek. “I’m sorry. For earlier.”
“Me too,” I say, turning my face to kiss his palm.
“I didn’t mean that.”
“I know.”
“I told her that.”
“I know that too.”
“She said you’d already talked to her. About me.”
“Yeah.”
“Said some pretty nice things.”
I shrug. “What can I say. I kind of have a crush on you.”
“Do you?” he asks, his hand heavy and warm.
“A little.”
“That’s good. I’m sort of crushing on you too.”
I grin up at him. “Maybe we should see if this goes somewhere.”
“Maybe,” he echoes, and he’s watching me like he can’t believe I’m real. That I’m here, with him. He gets that look every now and then, and no matter how many times I’ve seen it, it still knocks the breath from my lungs. “Do you really think all that about me?”
“Fuck yeah, I do. I pretty much think you’re the best thing in the world.”
He kisses me swiftly, almost knocking me off the chair. I squawk unattractively against his mouth, sure I’m going to fall over, but he’s got me, he’s holding on tight, and I laugh as he kisses my cheeks and forehead and nose and lips. He’s whispering to me, telling me he loves me, that he’s gonna love me forever, that he’s sorry, that he’s never going to leave us. And he’s shaking a little, and it hits me then, just how much he’d berated himself for today. I stop his words with my mouth, making sure he feels every single thing that I haven’t said.
He gets it, because he gets me.
It goes on and on until Izzie shouts down the stairs, “It’s been ten minutes, and from the sounds I can hear from all the way up the stairs, you guys are either scooping juicy watermelon or making out, which, good god, can you please act like adults!”
“Yep,” I say, pulling away. “The juicy watermelon thing absolutely killed any erection I might have had. Good game.” I smack his ass and stand up. “Izzie! Get your butt downstairs so we can go buy you things you probably don’t actually need, but for some reason, the school district says you do, and who am I to argue with that? I’m only a teacher in said school district.”
She’s grumbling as she stomps down the stairs.
“This isn’t over,” Otter whispers hotly in my ear. “Later, I’m going to apologize all over you.”
“That sounds disgusting,” I whisper back. “I’m so in.”
He pinches, and I laugh loudly. Izzie frowns at the both of us as she comes into the kitchen, but something rights itself in my chest, and I know, in the end, no matter what, we’re going to be okay.
13. Where Bear Sees Everything Change
LIFE. IT turns and turns and turns.
And even though you know it’s coming, it turns again, and everything changes.
It’s Monday, September 12, 2016, and I’m in front of a classroom full of the wondrous future of America, trying to get them to give two shits about authors that have been dead for decades. It’s barely twenty minutes into the school day, and I’m thinking about something another teacher had said to me just this morning, that this would probably be the very last Monday I’d work in a long time, given that Megan was due in almost a week. I’d been dazed at the thought, barely able to function because she was right. It’d hit me harder than I expected it to, even though I’d known that, however unconsciously. But it’s almost here, and I’m struggling to maintain my focus when my husband bursts into the classroom, looking frantic, being trailed by the lady from the front office and the principal.
I know what this is.