I’m about to give him the universal signal to wrap it up, but he finishes with a flourish, quoting some dead guy who said something about something. I don’t know. I’m half listening as it is, making sure to keep an eye on the faculty members across from us, ready to launch myself across the table in case one of them shows even the remotest signs of disinterest.
Otter knows this, and his grip on my hand tightens ever so gently, and I have moments to marvel that I’m sitting here in public, watching my little brother give his fifth grade dissertation while my boyfriend—er, partner—holds my hand.
Gee, look how far I’ve come. I only think nervously about removing my hand once or twice, especially when I catch David sneaking glances at Otter’s apparent need for public displays of affection. Yeah, maybe I am rubbing it in a little, but he’s gotten under my skin somehow, and not in a good way.
But the Kid finishes and bows slightly, and we clap again, and I notice with trace amusement when the faculty immediately applauds, louder this time. Either they got my pointed stares, or they’re just glad it’s over.
Ty puts his stuff away and comes to sit down next to me in his chair and leans over, burying his face in my shoulder. Otter leans over, almost resting his chin against my other shoulder, his breath sliding over my neck, causing gooseflesh to prickle, and we both wait for the Kid, knowing he’s going to need reassurance with whatever it is going on in his head right now. This has been a big step for him, one that I’m sure he wouldn’t have been capable of four months ago.
“Derrick?” he finally asks, his voice muffled by my shirt. Worse than I thought, I guess. He usually reserves calling me Derrick when he’s about to ask one of his Very Important Questions About (fill in the blank).
“Yeah, Kid?”
“You’re not mad, are you? I just wanted this to be a surprise. I wanted to show you and Otter that I can do this, that I didn’t need any help.”
Echoes of a conversation a few weeks before come flying back from a time when I was in a raging panic, thinking that I’d lost the Kid forever, only to feel the weight of him in my arms. I shiver slightly, feeling it roll up through my spine. “I’m not mad,” I say roughly. “I could never be mad at you for that. That was pretty damn amazing, Ty. That took some balls.”
Otter reaches over and ruffles his hair gently, his big hand pulling on strands of the Kid’s dark hair. “We’re proud of you, Kid,” he says quietly, only for us to hear. “And you don’t ever think you can’t ask us for help, even if you did that all on your own.”
Ugh, we’re getting saccharine in front of people who for all intents and purposes are strangers. I kiss the Kid’s head and hear him grumble about it, but he pulls away, a small smile on his blushing face. I glance at Otter, who grins at me and mouths the word “softie,” and I almost fight the urge to roll my eyes, but do it anyways. Whatever. I’ll get him back later.
David Trent, Mr. Franklin, and Boobs McGee (God, I’ve got to stop thinking of her like that!) are obviously relieved when our little family moment is over and they don’t have to stare at the ceiling or the floor in an attempt to give us our privacy.
Mr. Franklin juggles the papers on his desk and clears his throat, tapping a finger on the desk. “Well, Tyson,” he starts, “that was certainly… a first in all my years as an educator. You made some very… unique points that we will undoubtedly be talking about for years to come.”
The Kid preens. I scowl.
“Now, Derrick,” he continues, eyeing me warily, “as you may remember at the end of last year, we discussed the probability of advancing Tyson a year, given his aptitude for pretty much everything. It’s rare, to be sure, and I’ve met only a handful of truly gifted children in my life and have seen how many of them can flounder if they are not adequately challenged. I seem to remember discussing with you if you felt Tyson would be ready for such a change, and hearing your hesitancy in the matter. May I ask what has changed?”
Wait, now I’m on trial here? Hell. What should I tell him? Should I say that we’re reasonably okay now that I’ve found out that I like dick? No, I think that might be too crude. Do I tell him it’s because Tyson and I have finally found at least a semblance of peace because Otter came back? Nah, I don’t think it’s fair to rest all of that on Otter, even if it is a good thing. But no matter what I think, I can’t help but notice how it all comes back to Otter, no matter which way I try and spin it. That, without him, Tyson and I would probably still be antisocial shut-ins hell-bent on making it through day by day. How can I fully explain that to him when I really haven’t even said those things to Otter? Sure, I think he knows on some level, like he seems to know everything else, but he needs to hear it from me, and not in a room full of people where I can’t accurately show how much he does mean to us, means to me (and yes, I am being way dirty here, which is not the best place to have thoughts about sucking my boyfriend’s cock until he does that thing that shows me he’s close: the toe-curling, hair-pulling, low-grunting thing that shows me that I might have a knack as a dick
sucker after all.) Shit. Now I’m horny. Again.
And apparently my train of thought has been hijacked again by masked bandits on horseback, as I’m pretty sure a full minute has passed in complete silence with me staring slack-jawed at the people sitting across from us. Great. Gorilla struggling to learn sign language, just like the Kid predicted. Where’s Mrs. Paquinn when you need her? She wouldn’t have allowed this much time to pass without at least giving her thoughts on whatever it is that decides to wander through her brain at that given moment, either aliens or the social ramifications of cottage cheese (long story).
“Er… well, you see,” I stammer, sure I’m not helping anything by speaking. “We’ve… ah, how would you put it. We’ve… gotten to a better place? You know, in our lives?”
How articulate! it chortles gleefully. You are obviously a cogno-whatever just like your brother! My God, how are you not a rocket scientist by now?
“Is that so?” Principal Franklin asks. “Could you elaborate?”
Oh, I bet you’d like that. “Well, Tyson and I have recently moved into a house, so no more apartment. And, uh, we have a more stable home life.
You know, at home? And we have a great support group around us that…
surrounds us.” I need to stop because it sounds like I’m choking on my words. Jesus, the Kid can give a thirty-minute presentation, and I can’t speak for two freaking seconds? I look at the one person in the room I know can help me, and he’s there, always there, and something passes between us, and he nods at me, squeezing my hand gently before turning back to Franklin.
Otter says, “I’m sure you’ve been recently made aware of the events of three years ago? Tyson’s attorney informed us that she contacted your office and advised you of the current legal situation.”
Boobs Mc—Leslie Parker speaks up. “Yes, I have had a conversation with Erica Sharp. And I must say that we were obviously surprised hearing about your mother’s… departure. We were under the impression that Derrick was acting in her stead with a power of attorney because of a health issue.” She looks at me sternly, though not unkindly.
“I never said it was a health issue,” I grumble.
“Be that as it may,” she says, “you let us believe that it was. Derrick, I don’t know whether to hug you or throttle you.” That’s nothing new. Most people have that reaction. “Didn’t you ever think to ask about any financial assistance? The school has resources to provide for low-income families. It would have been so easy for you just to talk to us about what was going on so that we could have helped you.”
Ah, there it is again, people’s innate need to worry, to want to help. It was this very thing that had caused such great discord in those first couple of years, what with my damnable pride and lack of trust in most everyone around me. I could attempt to explain them, but anything I say, any argument to the contrary, will sound weak. Because my decisions were weak. Even though I thought I was reacting in the best interest of the Kid, there’s times when I wonder if I was watching out for myself even more, cocooning us both inside that apartment where we were reasonably safe, where the outside world could just pass us by without so much as a second glance. Was I in the wrong? I don’t know. Maybe. But the time to second-guess myself is in the past. It’s not something I care to focus on anymore, especially given where we’re headed now. It’s easy to drown in the past if you allow yourself.
Trust me, I know a thing or two about drowning.