I fought the urge to turn and snap at her. I almost lost. But then I remembered that I was almost out of here, that what she thought wouldn’t matter to me anymore, that she could never hold me back again.
“Whatever,” I said and walked out of the kitchen without looking back.
“Later, Kid,” I said as I stopped near the living room. “Careful, Mom’s off her meds today.”
“Hurray,” he grumbled, his eyes never leaving the TV.
“I’ll be home tonight and we’ll hang out, okay?”
“Promise?”
“Yeah, Kid. Promise.”
“Okay. Bye.”
And I left.
I came home that night and found two letters, one to myself, one to Tyson. She’d left $137.50 in an envelope.
After that… well. You know what happened after that.
JULIE MCKENNA sat in a plastic chair in the waiting room, her eyes darting around nervously, her hands in her lap on top of a brown file folder. I felt a stutter in my step when I first saw her, and even though nothing much had changed about her appearance in the past few months, everything had changed about how I looked at her. Hurt and betrayal had been replaced by hatred and rage, and I did nothing to keep it from my eyes. My body was tense and tight, my hands in fists at my sides. I wondered briefly what would happen if I just punched her in the face. I’m sure I would have felt better, at least for a moment.
She finally saw me walking toward her, and I watched as she flinched away, almost cowering in her seat. She looked around as she licked her lips, as if making sure there’d be witnesses in case I did anything. She didn’t know that I was beyond caring. Let the people watch. Let them try and stop me. A person could do so much damage in the space of a few seconds if he was properly motivated.
The nurse hesitated for a moment before she turned and left us alone.
My mother looked up at me nervously, and I knew she was waiting for me to take a seat. I didn’t sit. I glared at her.
Finally, she could no longer take the silence. “I know I’m probably the last person you want to see right now,” she said, her voice wavering.
“That doesn’t even begin to cover it,” I said coldly. “It’s taking all I have to not reach over and put my hands around your neck and squeeze the ever-fucking life out of you.”
Her eyes bulged. She looked around again. “Derrick—”
I leaned forward. “No one’s here to help you. Stop looking like you’re going to get rescued. If I wanted to do it, it would only take me a few seconds. Not enough time for anyone to stop me. Remember that. What the fuck do you want?”
Her voice is ragged. “I heard about Oliver and….”
“Really? And how did you hear that? How the fuck could you know anything about our lives?”
She wrung her hands in her lap. “If you could just understand—”
I shook my head once. “The time to understand is done. I no longer want to understand anything about you. The only thing I want in this world from you is for you to get up, walk away, and never look back. When you’re gone, you stay gone. You never contact me, you sure as shit never attempt to contact Tyson. I swear on all that I have if you’re here to tell me you’re fighting me for custody, I will make sure it’s brought out exactly what kind of mother you are. See how long you hold on to your daughter when I’m done with you.”
She looked terrified. “You wouldn’t,” she whispered. “I know you.
You’re my son. You wouldn’t do something like that.”
I narrowed my eyes and sneered at her. “I would. If you try and take from me, I will take everything from you. You’re done t
rying to fuck with my family. The man I love is in there fighting for his life, and I’m no longer playing nice. I’m the strong one now. I am not your son. Tyson is not your son. You are nothing to us.” My voice wanted to break on this last, but I didn’t allow it.
“How is Oliver?” she asked, averting her eyes.
“None of your business. What do you want?”
“Bear, I—”