“Possibly. Maybe I’ll help too.”
“Ooh, cannibalism. I can dig it. You hear that, traitor? My boy is gonna eat your toes.”
Caleb took off running into the woods.
“That went well,” I announced as soon as his footsteps had fallen away. “I do have some notes, as I indicated previously. Dragons, you all suck. It’s like you remembered absolutely nothing about what we practiced. I’m embarrassed by all of you. I’m giving every consideration to firing all of you.”
They all began to protest immediately. Well, all except for GW. He looked like he wished we had all never existed.
“Yeah, yeah,” I said, waving their complaints away. “Maybe if you had learned your lines. And Katya!” I turned toward the people standing behind me. Both had removed their masks, and I could see the resemblance now. They had fiery red hair, Brant’s cut short and Katya’s pulled back into a loose ponytail. Their faces were an explosion of endearing freckles. And both were extraordinarily pale, eyes wide, as if they’d seen a ghost. Which was ridiculous, of course, because ghosts didn’t exist. “Have you ever thought about being an actress?”
She shook her head slowly.
“Good. Because you were terrible. My gods, woman. Your calling isn’t in the theater, let me tell—oomph!”
She launched herself at me, wrapping her arms tightly around my neck, her makeshift armor digging into my chest.
“Oh man,” I breathed. “I love hugging. Lady-dude, you are on my epic list. Aside from the acting thing.”
And so I hugged her back, because that was what one did.
“You’re here,” she whispered, voice trembling. “You’re real, and you’re here.”
“This is true,” I agreed, absurdly touched by this girl I’d never met. It was strange, hugging another person again after so long. Dragons weren’t as cuddly as one might think, no matter how much Kevin tried. “I’m real.”
She pulled back carefully, searching my face. “They’re not going to believe this back at Camp HaveHeart.”
“I’m sure they won’t—wait. Back at where?”
Her smile was wide and beautiful. “The base camp. For the Resistance, led by Knight Commander Ryan Foxheart, Grand Prince Justin of Verania, and their second-in-command, Lady Tina DeSilva of the Foxy Lady Brigade.”
I was pretty sure my brain broke.
Chapter 2: The Lament of Sam of Dragons
“GODSDAMN DIMITRI,” I muttered as we made our way through the Dark Woods. “Godsdamn Dimitri and his not telling me about Resistances or HaveHeart camps or Foxy Lady Brigades. And godsdamn him straight to the underworld for saying nothing about Lady Tina DeSilva. I will have her head on my—”
“What is he growling about?” Katya whispered to Kevin.
“I don’t care,” Kevin whispered back. “I’ve had to hear his angst for the past eleven months. I’m sort of over it. I’m actually not even listening to him right now. Your brother is hot.”
Brant blushed furiously as Katya groaned.
“Rude,” I said. “Also, do you need to be reminded of what I’ve had to listen to for the past eleven months? You were the reason GW made me put on the sexual harassment seminar.”
“I am sexually adventurous—”
“Aggressive.”
“—and it’s not my fault you were the only thing within any distance that I could try and get up on. We were with a child, two lesbians, and an old fart. What else was I supposed to do, since you forced me to go with you?”
“That is not what happened!”
“Sam bewitched me to follow him into the forest,” Kevin told Katya and Brant. “I wanted to stay with my horde and my unicorn, but noooo. Sam here made me leave with him to the land of celibacy. Do you know how backed up I am right now? I could probably impregnate a rock.”
“Oh my goodness,” Katya breathed. “That was more information than I required.”
“You better not impregnate my sister,” Brant said seriously, hand on his sword. “Or me.”