“I’m not hitting on you! I’m just trying to point out that you are totally under my spell and that you love me terribly.”
“Better not be too terribly,” Ryan said, coming to stand next to me.
Justin rolled his eyes. “Yes, because I feel the need to downgrade to someone like Sam of Wilds.”
“Hey! I’m standing right here, in case you’ve forgotten. And what do you mean downgrade? That implies that there is someone that I would be a downgrade from. Are you butt-fucking someone? You tell me right now, Justin, I swear to the gods!”
“I’m not—”
“Is dis really what we’re here for?” Feng said to Mama.
I gaped at Justin. “It’s Dimitri, isn’t it! Oh my gods, I knew there was sexual tension between you and the fairy king!”
“As fun as this is—and it is fun,” Mama said, her tone a little icy, “I do believe there are more important matters that we must attend to aside from the Prince having sex with the king of fairies.”
“I’m not having sex with—”
Mama turned slowly to look at him.
Justin stopped speaking immediately.
It was amazing.
She was right, of course. I decided to let it go for now. But I would hold back teaching Justin the Best Friends Handshake until he spilled all the secrets he supposedly knew that I didn’t. He wouldn’t last very long in the face of such a threat.
Given all that had gone on, I decided to focus on the most important issue at hand. “Can someone please explain to me why we were fruited and what it has to do with my mortal enemy Lady Tina DeSilva?”
Mama grinned, razor-sharp. “I knew I liked you for a reason, precious. And I promise you if we find out who is responsible here in Meridian City, there will be swift… justice.”
“It wasn’t Lady DeSilva herself?” Ryan asked. “She’s the one who’s spearheading the We-Hate-Sam-A-Lot movement. Maybe she’s in the city. She does seem to have a rather unhealthy fascination with Sam.”
“People tend to get like that a lot with me,” I said with a frown. “I don’t know why I seem to make people crazy.”
“It truly is a mystery,” Justin said.
Morgan shook his head. “She was still in Lockes when we left. I checked. But it appears her message is starting to spread, farther and quicker than I would have thought. We may have underestimated her reach. Or the underlying tensions in V
erania toward Sam.”
Mama opened a drawer and pulled out a rolled parchment. She set it down on her desk and smoothed it out. The paper looked thick and expensive, the words printed across it in black ink. “It appears you’ve made enemies,” she said lightly. “Especially if they are now sending out propaganda. This and others like it are here in Meridian City. I don’t know that I’ve ever been prouder of you than I am right now. It truly takes an amazing person to piss off so many people in such a short amount of time.”
That… didn’t sound good. Mama slid the parchment over to me. The edges of it were curled. “Shit,” Ryan breathed as he started to read. I didn’t even have it in me to tell him yet again that knights were not allowed to curse.
!!!ATTENTION ATTENTION ATTENTION ATTENTION!!!
NOW COMES THE TRUTH THE CROWN DOESN’T WANT YOU TO HEAR!
SAM OF WILDS IS UNFIT TO BE THE KING’S WIZARD!
You have heard of Sam of Wilds. You have heard of his incompetence. You have heard of his crimes. He got the Prince of Verania kidnapped by a dragon who possibly sexually molested our beloved Justin! He broke up the wedding of Rystin, the most powerful couple to have ever been coupled, undoubtedly by using some kind of magical spell! He has wormed his way into the King’s good graces and is poised to take over Crown and country! How long will it be before Morgan of Shadows has an “accident”? How long will it be before Sam of Wilds whispers his honey-pot poison into the King’s ear with nothing holding him back?
THESE ARE THE FACTS:
—Sam of Wilds was pulled from the slums and placed in the castle to potentially become one of the most powerful people in Verania, and yet no one has provided a birth certificate to show that he was ACTUALLY BORN IN VERANIA! Why haven’t we seen this? It is written into the laws of Verania that only a Veranian-born may hold positions considered that of royalty, INCLUDING THE KING’S WIZARD!!!! SHOW US THE BIRTH CERTIFICATE!!!!!!!!!!
THESE ARE THE FACTS:
—Why did Prince Justin stand down so easily in the face of his BELOVED being torn from him on his wedding day? Prince Justin is one of the strongest, most bravest, and handsomest men in all of Verania. He would not have allowed the end of Rystin to happen unless he had been COERCED, either MAGICALLY or through THREATS OF VIOLENCE. It has been speculated by many people that Sam of Wilds threatened the life of the KING unless Justin relinquished his love to Sam of Wilds. And Justin and Ryan—their hearts breaking as they tearfully stared into each other’s eyes, remembering those mornings of waking up together and giving each other forehead kisses, and making slow, sweet, passionate love—had no choice but to comply, given the life of the King must be held above all others. SAM OF WILDS ENDED RYSTIN. It has been suggested that this other pairing, this “HaveHeart,” is actually a spell word that causes anyone who utters it to fall into Sam of Wilds’s trap! DO NOT DISCUSS HAVEHEART EVER BECAUSE YOUR BRAIN MIGHT GET SCRAMBLED WITH GROSS.