He frowned. “Do I know you from somewhere? You seem familiar.”
And with that, everyone at the table turned slowly to stare at me.
“Nope,” I said. “I don’t know you. I’m just here to do business. For my business.”
“And what business is that?” he asked.
And because I couldn’t help it, I said, “None of your.”
And he laughed. And my underwear almost fell off.
“Sweet molasses,” I said weakly.
“Are you sure we’ve never met?” he asked. “You remind me of someone.”
“I have that kind of face,” I said.
“I wouldn’t know. I can’t see it. Behind all that hair.”
“It’s a beard.”
“I can see that,” he said. “It’s very long.”
And so I leered, “Yeah it is,” because my life. Then I coughed horribly and oh my gods. “I mean thank you! I’m proud of its length. And girth. Holy crap. Shut up, S—Mervin.”
“What’s a Smervin?” he asked.
“Sure,” I said. “Oh no! Would you look at the time? I have another business meeting I really must attend to. For business.”
“It’s Mervin,” Mary said. “And forgive him. He’s just nervous right now. He has a little bit of a crush on you.”
“Mary!” I shouted. “You traitor. I do not! I am not a Foxy Lady.”
“So you’re a Sam Girl,” he said, sounding amused. Like an asshole.
“Yes,” I said. “Total Sam Girl. The Sammiest Girl who has ever lived.”
“So, HaveHeart, then?”
“I think Sam does just fine on his own.” Ha! Flora Bora Slam, motherfucker!
“I’ll be sure to let him know,” he said, cocking his head at me.
That pissed me off. “You do that. I’m sure he just can’t wait to talk to you.”
And boy did he flinch at that one.
“We’re so sorry to hear about Justin,” Tina said, commandeering the conversation. And, just because she could, her eyes filled with tears and she sniffed. “You must be so devastated.”
“Yes,” he said tightly. “It’s been rough. But we’re going to get him back.”
“And then you’ll be married!” she said, clapping her hands, tears drying instantly. “It’ll be the wedding of the century with flowers and tears and cake and I love yous and duck as the main course with greens, and there will be balloons and fairy lights and vows where you say he will be yours forever, and you will look into his eyes and sigh.”
“That’s… a lot of words,” Ryan said. “You remind me a bit of Sam.”
“I will murder everything you love,” I snarled at him.
“What?” he asked.