“You’re going to need to answer these invites.”
Well. Most of the time.
“Fall off a cliff,” I told him pleasantly, not bothering to look up from my Grimoire, where I was jotting down a particularly difficult and complex equation that would allow me to create fireworks out of corn kernels. You know. The important stuff.
“I did that once,” he said. “I was being chased by a particularly pissed-off manticore. He knocked me off the cliff and into a river all because I’d inadvertently insulted his mother. To be fair, she was a magnificent bitch who had tried to eat me the week before, so I was justified. I woke up four days later without any knowledge of who I was and spent the next six months working in a traveling carnival.”
I gaped at him.
“I was the bearded lady,” he said. “At some point during those four days that I was passed out, I’d somehow managed to grow a pair of breasts. It was an odd and trying time, but I came out stronger because of it.”
“Only you would learn a life lesson from being a bearded lady with amnesia,” I said.
“Everything is a life lesson,” Morgan said. “Like these invitations from potential suitors.”
“Your segue was clunky and I am embarrassed for you.”
“This won’t go away if you ignore it. You know better than anybody that when the King sets his mind to something, there will be follow-through or fallout.”
I rolled my eyes. “I have better things to do.”
“Like dance with a certain knight for fifteen minutes?”
I gritted my teeth. “Not my fault. He wiled me. With his ways. I was desperate to escape, but was duty bound as my position of your apprentice to save face. For you.”
Morgan laughed. “Because you’ve cared about that in the past. Clunky segue incoming. The King has appointed said knight as your chaperone for any upcoming outings of a romantic nature.”
“Kill me,” I begged him. “If you have any respect for me at all, you will end my life right this second.”
Morgan shook his head. “I am too fond of you to see you go.”
“Sentimental bastard.” I paused, considering. “I am sort of fond of you too. Though right this second, I couldn’t tell you a single reason why.”
He flipped through the invites. “Pick one. Pick all of them. But at least pick one. And when you go out, remain vigilant. The Darks are probably still pissed, even if it was scum of the earth like Lartin. If I think any of this is interfering with our work, I’ll pull the plug. But I’ll know if you’re throwing it on purpose, Sam. You know as well as I do what will happen if you can’t find a proper cornerstone for your magic.”
I groaned. “Not the cornerstone thing again. I don’t need someone to help anchor my magic. And even if I did, I have you. And Gary and Tiggy. And my parents.”
He shook his head. “It’s not the same thing. Especially now that you’ve come of age.”
“This whole thing was your idea, wasn’t it?” I accused him. “The King tried to take credit for it, but you did it.”
He shrugged. “Mutual exchange of ideas.”
Fine. “Is there one from a man named Todd?” I asked.
“There is.”
“Send the response. Throw the others away.”
“No sex on the first date,” Morgan said. “Don’t give up all the goods. Save some of it for later. You have to keep him coming back somehow. The gods only know it won’t be from your sparkling personality alone.”
“I feel like you not existing would be an okay thing for me right now,” I said. “Also, I’ve started a new chapter on the Grimoire that deals specifically with memory alteration and breast augmentation. Take that for what you will.”
“A threat?”
“A threat,” I confirmed.
He smiled at me. “You are going to be an amazing wizard. Mark my words.”