Why, though? It shouldn’t matter what Gary had said. I owed nothing to Ryan. He definitely owed nothing to me.
So I said, “Yeah, sure.” Because I was. Because I had options.
Ryan took a step back from Gary and dropped his hand.
And then he said flatly, “You’ll need a chaperone.”
I rolled my eyes. “Because that makes sense. It’s not like he can hurt me. I’m taller than him and can set him on fire.”
“It’s to protect your virtue,” Ryan said through gritted teeth.
“My virtue?”
“Oh,” Gary said to Tiggy. “It’s so much more fun being on this side of things.”
“Why Sam loud?” Tiggy asked.
“It’s his default setting,” Gary said.
“It’s to make sure you stay safe,” Ryan said. “You’re important to m—to the Kingdom.”
“To the Kingdom,” Gary whispered.
“Right,” Tiggy whispered back, “the Kingdom.”
“I don’t need anyone to protect my virtue,” I snapped. “If I wanted to go out and fuck the first guy I saw, then I could. Or maybe I’d feel adventurous and find a lady! Maybe both. At the same time.”
“Sam, honey,” Gary called, breaking through the anger. “Remember you love the mens. No lady bits. Though you seem to have an unhealthy appreciation of boobs.”
“Okay,” I said. “Point. Breasts are fascinating.”
Ryan was pissed. “You’re not going to fuck anything.”
“Whoa.”
“What?”
“You just said fuck.”
“So?”
“But, you’re a knight. You can’t say things like fuck. You’re supposed to hug children and rescue kittens and slay fantastical beasts. You can’t say fuck. It’s unbecoming of someone of your position.”
“And you can?” He was back to being bemused.
I grinned. “You bet your fucking ass I can. I’m a wizard.”
“Appren
tice,” Gary whispered.
Murder is bad. Murder is bad. “Regardless, I am my own man. I don’t answer to anyone but myself.”
“And me,” Gary said.
“And Gary,” I allowed. Because it was true.
“And Tiggy,” Tiggy said.