He blushed.
“Oh,” I said. “Oh. Yeah. We should definitely go do that. We should go do the hell out of that. Many times. Like, I’m so down with that. You have no idea.”
“Make sure to get the money up front,” Randall whispered. “I need my cut.”
Morgan sighed again and shook his head. Poor guy. He’d had a long day.
“What they doing?” Tiggy asked.
“Well,” Gary said. “When a knight finally pulls his head out of his ass at the last possible moment obviously staged for dramatic purposes and admits that he loves a wizard’s apprentice, they go into their room and do a special hug that—”
“Butt sex,” Tiggy said.
“Yes, Tiggy. Butt sex.”
“Go, Sam!”
“Thank you, Tiggy.” And because I could, I kissed Ryan again. It was awesome. I felt him smiling against my lips, and I didn’t think this day could get any better.
Then Wan cleared his throat. “So. We’re still standing here. In case you were wondering.”
“That so?” I said, pulling away from Ryan and turning toward the Darks.
Wan squared his shoulders. The Darks behind him stood in formation. “Sam of Wilds,” Wan said. “You murdered Lartin the Dark Leaf. He was a great wizard who liked pinecones and eating fried fish while wearing slippers. We have come here to exact our revenge and—”
“Okay,” I said.
“Okay?” Wan asked.
“You want revenge. I’ll let you try.”
“You will,” he said, eyes narrowing in suspicion.
“It’s the least I could do,” I said. “After all, you were the ones who had the foolproof plan to infiltrate Castle Lockes on a royal wedding day when a large contingent of the King’s knights would be present, not to mention the two most powerful wizards in the known world, a pissed-off unicorn, an angry half-giant, a dragon, and my boo.” I blew a kiss at Ryan. He rolled his eyes and pulled out his sword.
“Don’t call me boo,” he said as he tried to stand between me and the Darks.
“Mini-muffin?” I said, shoving him to the side.
“Gods, Sam.”
“Honeybear?”
“I’ve changed my mind,” he said. “I take back the love confession.”
“Too late,” I said. “We have, like, a thousand witnesses. You’re stuck with me pretty much for forever.”
He shook his head. “Still taking it back.”
“Heart boner gone,” Gary muttered.
“So you see,” I said, looking back at the Darks, who were not quite as confident as they had been before. “You pretty much done fucked up, son.”
“We can take you,” Wan said, brow sweating.
“You sure about that?” the King asked, shrugging out of his robe. He reached behind the throne and drew out a longsword, double fisting it and grinning. “I look forward to it.”
“Well,” Justin said, catching two swords in either hand thrown to him by a knight. He flourished them both. “At least this day didn’t end in a total crapshoot. Killing something will probably make me feel better.” He stood next to his father, coolly gazing out at the Darks.