“He still licked my hand.”
“Who was it?”
“Captain Bad-Touch. I don’t know. Scar on his face. Rapey eyes.”
“Ah. That would Duke Waller of the Outer Banks. A shame, really. He came so highly recommended.”
“I would recommend him for euthanasia,” I said. “And I don’t want to know the criteria you came up with to vet out any less desirables.”
“I did nothing of the sort,” the King said. “I just had your stats and the date and time of the ball written on every tavern bathroom wall within a sixty-mile radius. There was no vetting.”
“Remember that one time I laughed at a joke you told?”
He grinned at me. “I do.”
“This is not going to be like that time.”
He laughed enough for the both of us.
I bit my lip. And then opened my mouth. “Is”—Ryan—“Justin happy?”
The King’s smile softened. “I think so. Love can do that to a man. Just look at them.”
And I did. I didn’t want to, but I did. They were dancing on the other side of the floor and they moved gracefully together. They were of an even height, and I was pretty sure that Justin’s hand was almost touching Ryan’s ass, which I absolutely was not staring at. Ryan had changed out of his armor and wore white trousers and knee-high black boots, almost like he was going riding. His black jerkin stretched tight against his chest and arms. And yes, they did look happy. Mostly. Maybe. I couldn’t quite figure out the look on Ryan’s face.
Ryan must have felt us watching them because he looked over and caught my eye. He frowned again, and I looked away quickly.
“I suppose,” I eventually said.
“He makes Justin happy,” the King said. “And I hope Justin can do the same for him. It’s been a long time since I’ve seen Ryan smile.”
Which, odd. Because I’d seen it a few times. Earlier that night, even. And that morning.
“I still don’t know what that has to do with me,” I said.
The King sighed. “Sam, ever since the day Morgan brought you to the castle, I knew there was something special about you. It had nothing to do with your magic or whatever Morgan thought you would one day be. It had to do with the size of your heart. You have so much to give to people and I think you sometimes hide it behind your wit and words. I want you to find that someone who makes you feel complete, who allows you to let your guard down and just be.”
“I have you,” I said honestly. “And Morgan. And my parents and Tiggy and Gary. What more could I possibly need?”
“Someone to call your own,” he said.
“I have priorities,” I said weakly.
“Do this, and I’ll agree to fund your proposal for more teachers being hired in the slums.”
I narrowed my eyes at him. “You cheater.”
He smiled at me.
The King and I danced on.
AND I did dance with a few of them. The King wanted me to try, and there was no way I’d ever let him down. Not after all he’d done for me and my family.
That didn’t mean I’d let him off the hook so easily.
It was awkward and weird, and I found out I really hated dancing with strangers who were trying to get up in my business, so I filled in the silence with vivid descriptions of how we’d have at least ten kids and that I knew a spell that would allow us to get pregnant so we could take turns just popping out the ass babies. I’m pretty sure a couple of them all but ran by the time we’d finished. I waved after them.
And then Todd came over with his ears and nervousness, sputtering about how he couldn’t even fathom how ass babies would work and I thought, Okay. Okay, why not? I was drunk and reckless and why