“You told me many things,” I muttered, ashamed of the way I’d just acted. Ryan deserved it. Maybe. But that didn’t mean I needed to act like he did.
“I told you he doesn’t smile. Not a real one, anyway. Not one that’s not forced or for show.”
I remembered that. I remembered because I’d thought how odd that was as I’d seen him smiling several times that day alone.
“Until you,” the King said, sounding as sad as I’d ever heard him. “I don’t know why I didn’t see it before. Especially since it was right in front of me. But anytime he smiles, anytime it’s real, it’s because of you. He lights up brighter than anything I’ve ever seen.”
“Is that supposed to make me feel better?” I asked, unable to keep the bitterness out of my words.
“No,” he said. “I don’t suppose it is.”
“Fix this.”
He looked stricken. “I can’t. He made the oath of his own volition. He’s a knight. It’s what’s expected of him.”
I nodded once and turned to walk away.
Before I got two steps, he said, “I tried.”
I stopped but didn’t turn around.
“I tried, Sam.”
“I don’t understand.”
“I asked Justin to release Ryan from his oath.”
“Why?” I managed to choke out.
“Because I wasn’t lying the day I told you that I thought of you as a son. And my heart breaks for you. Your pain will always be my pain, and it is sharp within me. I wanted something better for you, but I’ve failed. I’m so sorry, Sam.”
I spun back around and threw myself at him. His arms came up and he held me close.
I couldn’t find the words to say how I didn’t blame him. I couldn’t find the words to say how much I loved him. I couldn’t really find any words at all, so I just held him for a very long time and hoped he understood all the things that were not said.
CHAPTER 28
A Brief Interlude
I GLARED up at the stars while I lay on the grass in the secret garden.
“You’re fucking jerks,” I told them all. “Seriously. What the hell.”
The stars didn’t reply. But then, they were stars, so. Pretty much expected.
They still twinkled like assholes, though.
“I hope you all blow up. You know what? You probably are already blown up and it’s just taken your light thousands and thousands of years to reach here. So ha fucking ha. You’re dead now and all I’m seeing are your last gasps.” I sighed. “I’m sorry. That was rude.”
Because it was. It wasn’t their fault Ryan was getting married tomorrow.
It was Ryan’s fault. And Justin’s. I mean, who makes an oath to a prince to honor a dead and cherished mother?
Rude.
And very sweet. And beautiful. And lovely. And just like the selfless bastard.
But also rude.