I took a step back. And another. And another.
He never looked away.
Once there was enough space between us so that neither of us could reach out and touch the other, I said, “You’ll leave. In the morning. Take the Old Road back to the City of Lockes. Take what supplies you’ll need. There’s an extra rucksack. Don’t stop. Don’t delay. Don’t wait for us. Go home and be happy. You are a knight commander. You worked hard for it. Be proud, Ryan. You’ve earned it. You deserve it. Marry Justin. He cares about you and you care about him. That will be enough. For your oath.”
“What about you?” he asked, voice ragged.
I smiled, though I felt it tremble. “I’ll be okay. You’ll see. I’ll be okay. I’m Sam of Wilds. I’ll always be okay.”
I thought he was going to say more, to wear me down until I was begging him not to leave, to kiss me just one more time. To never let it stop.
But instead, he nodded. Curled his hands into fists at his sides. Exhaled heavily. His shoulders were tense, but it mattered not. In the starlight, he looked beautiful, and I felt like that little boy again, that fifteen-year-old boy who saw him for the first time and who understood by the stumbling of his heart that nothing would ever be the same again.
“Go,” I said. “Please. Go.”
And he did.
I looked up at the night sky as the sounds of his footsteps faded down the stone steps.
The stars shone brightly.
CHAPTER 25
Stories from the Journey Home
THEY LEFT early the next morning.
I told them to be careful.
Justin scoffed and took Ryan’s hand in h
is.
Ryan nodded but didn’t look at me.
I wanted to tell him I didn’t regret a single thing.
But I didn’t.
I watched the road long after they’d disappeared.
“WHY DON’T we just fly home?” Gary asked. “It’d only take a few days.”
“Humans don’t ride upon my back,” Kevin said. “It’s racist.”
Gary swooned.
“ARE YOU sure?” I asked Kevin that first night after Justin and Ryan had left. We were at the top of the keep again. Gary and Tiggy were below us, looking through the books to see if there was anything of value that we could take. Mostly, it was explicitly detailed pornography, describing sexual acts that made even Gary blush. (“Triple penetration? My gods, your asshole would be like a cave entrance after that.”)
“About?” Kevin asked, tail twitching. His black scales looked luminous in the moonlight.
“Going with us.”
“Are you questioning a god?” he asked. “Spake der truth, hoominz.”
I rolled my eyes. “Yeah, that doesn’t quite work on me.”
“Had to make sure. It was nice while it lasted.”