“It’s a love story between a manticore and a butler. They love each other, but societal norms dictate they can’t be together.”
Gary’s lips twitched. “A lion with
wings and human face and a butler sure sounds like it would cause disruption. How does it end?”
“They both die. Painful deaths. Involving many bad things.” I hoped it sounded like a threat.
“That doesn’t sound like a happy ending,” Justin said with a frown.
“It isn’t,” I told him. “But sometimes murder is inevitable. Right, Gary?”
He smiled sweetly at me. “If I was going to corner you and ask for you to write a review of The Manticore and the Butler and your words would be written in stone, how would you rate the book?”
“I’d give it five hearts,” I muttered, wondering what his insides would look like if they were on his outside.
“Out of?”
“Five.”
“Indeed. It sounds as if this novel left quite an impression on you. Tell me, what was that quote again?”
“Uh.”
“You said it with such alacrity not five minutes ago,” Gary said. “Surely it won’t be that hard to repeat it. Since you rated it… what was your rating system again?”
“Hearts.”
“That’s right. Five hearts. Because of reasons. The quote?”
I hoped my eyebrows were now broadcasting his imminent death at my hands. “Um. It was. I am not gonna fuck him because shut up it’s wrong. So. I love you, Nick the manticore.”
“Nick the manticore!” Gary crowed gleefully. “Oh my gods, I can’t believe you just did all that!”
“I don’t read books,” Tiggy said. “I like cats.”
Justin said, “I think the dragon is just playing with Ryan.”
We all looked over the edge of the keep.
Sure enough, Kevin kept circling Ryan, not allowing him to get a hit with his sword. He moved lightning quick for something his size, and I knew if this were a real fight, it’d be over rather quickly. For a moment, I thought that maybe I should do something to rescue him, but then I saw the way he ducked under a whip of Kevin’s tail, and I figured he was okay to be dashing and immaculate, at least for a little while.
“Face me like a man!” Ryan snapped as Kevin danced away.
“I am not a man,” Kevin reminded him. He flicked his claws against Ryan’s breastplate, knocking him over. Kevin looked up at us and said, “Did you see that, Gary? I did that for you!”
“Super,” Gary called back down. “You’re so neat.” Then, in a lower voice, “I’m going to have so many of your babies.”
“Oh gods,” I groaned. “Would you shut the fuck up?”
“It’s true love,” he insisted.
“If he hurt you, Tiggy gonna smash,” Tiggy said, petting Gary’s head.
“Of course you would, Tig,” Gary said. “You’re my big strong giant.”
“I’ll hurt him too,” I said.
Gary rolled his eyes. “No you won’t. Your magic won’t work on him.”