“He’s a grown unicorn,” I said with a shrug. “He’s got this.” And I really didn’t think that Gary would allow Kevin to murder Ryan. Not really. Gary wasn’t that big of a jerk.
Kevin started rumbling deep in his chest.
Gary grinned.
I sighed. “Gary.”
“What?” The perfect picture of unicorn innocence.
“You know what.”
“Sam!” he exclaimed, eyes going wide as if he hadn’t been aware I’d been standing above him this whole time. That asshole. “Lovely to see you alive and well. And with the Prince, no less. I’m sure you two have had some… interesting things to discuss.”
“Gary,” I warned.
“Ugh. Fine. Dragon.”
The rumbles ceased instantly as Kevin turned back toward Gary. “Yes, my exquisiteness?”
“You don’t need to kill the Knight Commander.”
“As you wish.”
“Maybe maim him a little.”
“Gary.”
“Fine,” Gary muttered. “No maiming either. Some people just don’t know how to take a joke.”
“I do,” Kevin said. “All of your jokes. I’ll laugh at every single one because undoubtedly, your humor exceeds that of even court jesters. Might I fuck you later tonight?”
Gary coughed roughly. “That… um.”
“I’ll go slow,” Kevin said, as if that were the only issue at hand. “I’ll go so slow for you. Open you up until you’re wet enough to sit on my—”
“Sam!” Gary cried. “Look at that. That’s Sam. Our friend Sam. And the Prince! Hello, Prince! I am so glad to see your bright and shining face.”
“You are?” Justin asked, coolly amused. “That’s a first.”
“Whaaaa? No. Ha-ha! You and I go way back.”
“Do we?”
“We do.”
“Huh.”
“In fact, I think I should want to see both your faces up close. Tiggy, dear, won’t you escort me to the top of the keep?”
Tiggy grinned. “Tiggy don’t know what you just said. Sure.”
“Lovely,” Gary said. “Just lovely. And while we go up there, the dashing and immaculate Knight Commander here shall battle my fierce dragon to the death!”
“Your wish is my command,” Kevin said, bowing his head.
“Gary.”
“Okay, okay. Gods, Sam. No need to bring out scary eyes. Kevin. Yoo-hoo, Kevin!”