And as if waiting for me to say so, Kevin spread his wings and roared, the sound crawling along the valley. I saw Tiggy stumble slightly and even Gary faltered, but they pushed on. I’d never thought them more brave. Or more ridiculous.
And I couldn’t even begin to comprehend Ryan riding atop Gary. I couldn’t even find the time to think that Ryan was somehow a racist because of it.
Kevin launched himself off the top of the keep and spread his wings. He fell near silent, his wings catching him before he landed on the ground in front of the great doors.
“Don’t kill them,” Justin called after him. “Maybe just scare them a little bit.”
I gaped at him.
“What?” he asked me. “We might as well enjoy it if we have to watch.”
That… okay. I couldn’t fault him for that. Because Gary was doing a great impression of a warrior princess with his battle screech as he charged up the road toward the keep. And Tiggy was trying to scream along with him, but he wasn’t really understanding what they were doing so he was screaming, “I’m yelling too!” And Ryan might have been manly screaming, but I was distracted by the way the sun fell in his hair and I had to stop myself from sighing dreamily.
Of course, they all stopped screaming when Kevin landed in front of them, the dirt puffing up in clouds around his claws. Kevin hissed, his forked tongue curling out around his lips, the spines along his back quivering. If I hadn’t known that he was a mostly vegetarian, sexually aggressive lizard, I would have been terrified. As it was, I rolled my eyes.
“Eep,” Gary said.
“Whoa,” Tiggy said.
“Prepare, dragon!” Ryan shouted. “For today, you will meet your end!”
Justin and I both snorted.
“I’m sure he didn’t mean that to sound as douchey as it did,” I said.
“No,” Justin said. “He meant it all right. He does that sometimes.”
“Tiggy,” Gary hissed. “Take off this fucking helmet.”
Ryan slid down from Gary and flourished his sword, eyes never leaving Kevin. Kevin snarled at him, dragging his claws along the ground, tail flicking dangerously from side to side. His muscles bunched in his legs, and it looked as if he were about to launch himself at Ryan. I wondered briefly if I should intervene.
Tiggy leaned over and lifted the helmet from Gary’s head. Gary, ever the diva, shook his head daintily, his mane settling perfectly on the side of his head.
And the dragon. Just. Stopped.
“Um,” Ryan said. “Hello? Dragon? Are we doing this or—”
“What great beauty is this?” Kevin breathed, sounding soul struck.
“Um. What?” Ryan asked, taking a step back. “Talking. It talks. Of course it does.”
“Did you hear my battle scream?” Gary asked Tiggy, completely ignoring Kevin. “I was all like, GRAAAHHH and it sounded pretty awesome if I do say so myself.”
“It very loud,” Tiggy said. “Tiggy scream too. GWAAAHHH!”
“No,” Gary said, shaking his head. “Not gwah. Grah. GRAAAHH!”
“GWAAAAHHHH!”
“Dragon,” Ryan said, poking Kevin with his sword. “Hey. Dragon.”
“GRAAAHHHHHH!”
Kevin ignored Ryan, eyes only on Gary.
“Seriously?” Justin asked me. “Seriously?”
“Hey! You leave them—okay. Even I can’t defend this. Oh my gods. What the hell.”