“The fact you are going to act
ively spend time thinking of ways to make me cry really concerns me.”
“It’s not that hard. You cry at everything.”
“I do not.”
“Puppies in the slums with no one to give them food,” he said. “And they have really big eyes and all they want to do is go home with you but you can’t carry them because you lost your arms in a factory accident when you were fifteen.”
My eyes burned as I said, “You monster. And that was surprisingly detailed. The no-arms thing? Masterstroke.”
“What the hell was Randall talking about?” Ryan asked, ignoring our obviously important conversation. “And why is everyone pissed off at Sam?”
“That’s nothing new,” I said. “People are usually pissed off at me. And Randall is a crazy old man who lost his mind decades ago. Just drones and drools, that’s all he does. You can’t believe a single word that comes out of his mouth.”
“What’s a cornerstone, then?” he asked.
“Babble and crazy talk,” I said quickly before Tiggy and Gary could cut in. “It’s an old wizarding legend. Has nothing to do with anything. I don’t even know why he brought it up.”
“What’s the legend?”
I shrugged, trying to remain calm and cool and collected, but I almost hit myself in the face with my own shoulder. “Just a magical foundation thing. Like I said, it doesn’t matter. We should go.”
“No. Fucking. Way,” Gary breathed.
Oh shit.
I glared at him, trying to relay the urgent message of shut up! shut up! with my eyebrows.
But he wasn’t even looking at me. He was staring at Ryan with this newfound appreciation, like he was the most wonderful thing that had ever been created. It took Tiggy a moment to catch on, but then his big eyes got even bigger and he started breathing slightly funny.
“Uh, what?” Ryan asked, looking at them warily.
Gary leaned closer to him, stretching out his neck until his face was inches from Ryan’s own. Their noses almost touched. Ryan, gods bless him, didn’t jerk back. Gary started breathing heavily in Ryan’s face and I had no fucking clue what was going on.
“I like you,” Gary finally said in a low voice.
“Thank you? I thought you already did.”
“No. Like, I really like you. Before, I was just pretending. I actually think I almost despised you. But now I don’t.”
“You almost despised me.”
“Almost.”
“And now you don’t.”
“Now I don’t.”
“Because….”
Gary breathed more on his face, nostrils flaring. Then (finally), “Unicorns are fickle creatures. I don’t need a reason to change my mind. It’s been done and you should just accept it and be thankful I no longer plot to murder you in your sleep.”
“Testify,” Tiggy said.
“So now you have affection for me,” Ryan said, “and you—”
“I didn’t say affection. I said I liked you, not that I’m ready to pick out curtains. Gods. Calm the fuck down. You’re engaged to be married. I will not be your dirty little secret. I am a strong, independent unicorn, and I will not take your shit.”