“Why did you summon me?” Randall asked. “You know I’m very busy.”
“Uh. You summoned us?”
“I did?”
“Yeah.”
“Oh. Well, then. It must have been important. Where are you?”
“A few days outside of Meridian City,” I said. “Headed for Tarker Mills.”
“And what did you find in Old Clearing?”
I hesitated. Then, “Nothing pertaining to the dragon.”
Randall was silent for a moment. Randall silences were not good silences in that they were calculating. I could hear the gears whirring in his head as he picked up on my evasiveness. But he surprised me when he said, “Well that’s good news, at least. It means the dragon’s territory isn’t as far-reaching as we thought it would be.”
Gary looked at me oddly, and I knew we’d be having words later.
“Good news,” I echoed.
“And how long until you get to Tarker Mills?”
“Three weeks or so. A little less if we’re lucky.”
“Luck always seems to be around you, doesn’t it?”
“It does?”
He chuckled, though he didn’t sound amused. It was a dry, raspy thing that grated in my ears. “You’re alive, aren’t you? That’s more than I would have thought when I first met you.”
“That’s… comforting,” I said.
“Is it? Wasn’t meant to be. Simple recitation of fact.”
“Always a pleasure, Randall.”
“I wouldn’t go that far. I thought there was a good chance you would have blown yourself up by the time you turned fifteen.”
“I almost did,” I said. “Several times.”
“I still remember the day when Morgan told me about you. It was the day I first got an ulcer.”
“Do you still keep in touch with the couple you wedded?” I asked him innocently. “I bet they look back on their ceremony fondly. Or was that question too nosy?”
“Did you just make a pun about giving him a dick nose?” Ryan asked me, sounding amused.
“Gods,” Gary muttered. “This is so gross to watch.”
“What is?” Tiggy asked.
“Tell you later,” Gary said.
“I do, in fact,” Randall said stiffly. “It took years for them to be able to look upon me without horror, but we’ve managed. It helps that they think the person responsible was lashed with a whip thirty times and then dropped in the middle of the Dark Woods dressed only in undergarments and covered in honey.”
“And why honey?” I asked, despite myself.
“To attract bears,” he said.