“What if I didn’t?”
Gods, why is he still arguing? He’s already proven that while he’s hardly a paragon of virtue, he does have some kind of conscience. Eros isn’t cruel. He might not care for me, but he can’t plan to protect me from his mother and then turn around and wield an emotional knife against me. “This marriage is one of convenience. You set that up.”
Eros finally sighs. “You’re right.”
I know I’m right. So why do I feel the faintest sinking in my chest at his agreement. “I know I am. I just…” He’s agreed with me. Why am I still arguing?
Eros doesn’t move, doesn’t try to press his advantage. Surely he knows that it would take a single kiss to make me putty in his hands? He’s a smart man; he must know. But he simply watches me, waiting for me the same way he waited last night.
Last night, I could tell myself all the same things I just told him. It was a stress-based decision. We needed to let off some steam. No matter what promise I made, I had no intention of continuing to sleep with Eros.
That’s what it boils down to. Intention. If I let us blur the lines this morning, what’s to stop us from continuing to do so? We’re both such excellent liars; throw in sex, and I might start to believe the fiction we spin for the rest of Olympus.
Restricting sex to our wedding night is the only smart way to keep my heart intact.
“It’s a bad idea,” I whisper.
“Is it? I’m not so sure.” He brushes a strand of my hair away from my face. “I know what I said last night about wanting a chance to seduce you properly, but the truth is I’m not going to pressure you. I want you, Psyche. If you were on board with the idea, I’d be okay spending the next three days in this bed.”
I drag in an unsteady breath. “That’s a lot of sex.”
“It’d barely take the edge off.” His smile is a little bittersweet. “I’m well aware that I’m no catch. There’s no reason a woman like you would want to be linked to me any more than you already are, and I’ll respect that.”
The horrible melting feeling in my chest from last night comes back, this time with interest. I’m so busy trying to protect my heart that I never once thought myself capable of hurting Eros. Even a little. I search his face, but for once, he doesn’t have a mask in place.
He gives me that crooked smile, still trying to put me at ease. “I can’t promise my virtuous streak will hold, especially if you keep looking so fucking sexy, but you’re safe from any attempted seduction this morning.” He starts to sit up.
I grab his arm, my hand moving almost of its own volition. I stare at where my fingers wrap around his bicep. “Wait.”
“You’re killing me, beautiful girl.” He exhales a shaky breath. “I’m trying to do right by you.”
“I know.” Still, I can’t quite make myself release him. My need for self-preservation battles with desire and something like empathy. I want him. He wants me. I might not be able to hold the careful line between us if we keep doing this, but my reasons for saying no slip away like the tide going out. “Eros.”
He doesn’t seem to breathe. “Yeah?”
“Would you accuse me of being incredibly fickle if I changed my mind?”
His slow grin is a different kind of foreplay. “I’d say I like you when you’re fickle.”
I don’t get this man. Before this marriage, he could have nearly anyone he wanted in Olympus. Why does he look at me like I just delivered his favorite present on Christmas morning? It’s so tempting to believe that he wants me that desperately, but allowing myself to believe that is a mistake. Lust and love aren’t the same thing, but my brain might get the two confused, especially when it comes to this man.
There’s no time to think about that, though, not with him easing down my body, taking the covers with him. I start to close my eyes, desperate to reclaim some of the rapidly closing distance between us, but he nips my thigh as he presses my legs wide. “Don’t shut me out, Psyche.”
“You ask too much.”
“I know.” He doesn’t sound the least bit sorry, either. Eros’s eyes have gone hot as he looks up my body. The way he drinks me in visually is something I don’t think I’ll ever get used to. He’s so contained the rest of the time, but the second I get naked, it’s like a beast is looking out at me through those blue eyes.
He dips his head and then his mouth is on my pussy. It’s different from yesterday afternoon, when he was a man on a mission, perfectly focused on my pleasure but wasting no time on making me come so hard, I saw stars.