I press a kiss to his chest, enjoying this closeness. It feels like we’ve turned a corner. I don’t know what the future holds if we can get through this current mess, but a strange sort of hope takes up residence in my chest. I love him. He cares about me, which seems to indicate he could love me if given the opportunity. “Eros?”
“Yeah?”
It’s tempting to keep my thoughts internal, but I’ve never been good at controlling my mouth around this man. Especially when his feelings hang in the balance. “Last night, you said you don’t know how to love.”
He tenses. “I don’t.”
“You’re wrong.”
Eros huffs out a strained laugh. “I think we can both agree I’m damaged goods.”
“Stop that.” I sit up. “Stop talking about yourself like that. I wouldn’t let someone else talk about you so cruelly, and I’ll be damned before I let you do it, either.”
The shock on his face hurts my heart. “It’s the truth.”
“Eros, you love Helen.”
He makes a face. “She’s like a sister to me.”
“I know.” I press my hand to the center of his chest. “And you love her like a sister. That love counts. One could argue it counts even more than romantic love because there isn’t sex in the mix, muddying things up.”
He opens his mouth, hesitates, and finally covers my hand with his. “It’s difficult to argue with that.”
“Because I’m right.” I take a deep breath. “Whether or not what we have gets to love, that’s not something either of us can control.” Even if it’s too late for me on that note. “But never doubt that you’re capable of it.”
Eros studies my face for a long moment and then his face relaxes in a smile. “I really don’t deserve you.”
“You really don’t.” I laugh a little. “But not for the reasons you’ve stated previously. I’m just a gem of a human being.”
“I know.”
The moment spins out between us, and those three little unforgiveable words dance on the tip of my tongue. I love you. I can’t say them. Not now, not after that conversation. It will look like I’m trying to manipulate him or, worse, that I expect him to say them back right now.
Desperate for a distraction, I clear my throat. “I’m starving.”
That springs him into motion just like I suspected it would. “Let’s get you fed, then.”
An hour later, we’ve eaten and showered. We’re plotting out the rest of our day when my phone rings. I hold my breath when I see my mother’s name. “Hello?”
“Poseidon is out. I’m sorry, Psyche. I tried every bit of leverage I have, but he refuses to get involved.”
Disappointment takes the bones right out of my legs. I barely manage to land on the chair instead of the floor. “I see.”
“He’s a young stubborn fool and he still thinks he can play the game his way instead of sinking down to the depths the rest of us occupy. If you give me some time—”
“Thank you, but that won’t be necessary.” Time is one thing we don’t have. Even now, Aphrodite will no doubt be ordering the next assault. She’s not one to take disappointment lightly, and from her point of view, I’ve bested her twice now. She won’t let it happen a third time. “I’ll take care of it.”
“Psyche…” For the first time in as long as I can remember, my mother sounds unsure. “Let me help.”
Horribly poisonous words threaten to surge forth. I wouldn’t be in this situation if Aphrodite didn’t hate you so much. I wouldn’t even be in Olympus if your ambition weren’t so strong. I don’t say them. Ultimately, I bear nearly as much responsibility in this situation as the rest of the players. I could have been like Persephone and tried to find a way out of Olympus. That was never my goal. I’ve played the game, too, and now I need to play it better than I ever have before.
To fail is to die.
I inhale slowly. “I have things under control. I’ll call you later.” I hang up and glance over to find Eros watching me. “Poseidon won’t offer his support.”
“It was a long shot, but I hoped I was wrong.” He’s gone still the way he seems to when he’s thinking hard, ice creeping into his features. “I’ll take care of it.”
“Eros, no.” The strength rushes back into my body, born of pure panic. I cross to him and take his hands. “No. You can’t hurt your mother.”
“I don’t want to.” He sounds like he’s in pain. “But we both know she won’t stop.” Eros slowly shakes his head. “There’s no other way. We’re running out of time.”
I know that. I’m achingly aware of the seconds ticking by. “Eros, please.” I skate my hands up his chest and cup his face. Gods, I think I’m going to cry. “I love you.” A cruel move to say it now, underhanded and just as manipulative as I feared it would be. I don’t care. I’ll say worse to keep him from doing this. It’s the truth, after all.