“And all that time it was because he was bad at it. Maybe I am, too.” Sierra looked down at her hands. “I, uh, haven’t had a lot of practice at it.”
“Really? But you’re gorgeous.”
She gave a faint smile. “Thanks. But, well, I never really went to school. My mom’s the original stage mom, and she either homeschooled me or got tutors—it depended on how our finances were—so that I could go on auditions or do small acting jobs.”
“Do you date much as an adult?”
“I tried,” she said. “I want to. But the men I go out with… they’re so forceful. They want to have sex on the first date, or at least get to a base or two. None of them want to get to know me first, they want to go from zero to sixty. It’s like, one minute we’re talking and the next minute they have their hands all over me.”
“And that’s not what you want.”
“Definitely not what I want.”
Kylie joined us again. She took one look at the glum expression on Sierra’s face and remained silent, not asking what she’d missed.
“What about women?” I asked cautiously. “Maybe women are more willing to take it slowly.”
“I wish I did like women for that very reason,” Sierra said. “And because, let’s face it, we’re cooler than men are. But I don’t. I’m only attracted to men.”
“But more to the idea of them than what they’re actually like in person?” Kylie asked.
“Exactly.” Sierra set her empty glass down and Kylie poured more wine. “I just wish I could meet someone who’d take it slow.”
“So what happened with filming today? I’m not Aiden’s biggest fan, but it was his job to grab and kiss you, right?”
“Yeah. And I knew that. I’ve spent weeks trying to psyche myself up for this. But every time he went in for the kiss, I just froze. I tried to respond. I tried to follow the script, which called for me to be shocked at first but then get into it. But I was just… wooden.” A tear leaked down her face.
Kylie’s face was full of sympathy as she reached under the bar and produced a box of tissues. One of her customers called her name, and she waved him off.
“I think they might fire me,” Sierra continued, the tears flowing faster. “I’ve only been in a few scenes so far, so they wouldn’t have to reshoot much. This is my first mainstream film, and if I get fired, no one will ever give me a chance like this again.”
“God, I’m sorry.”
“Me too,” Kylie said.
I racked my brains. “Could you maybe imagine you were kissing a man you liked?”
Sierra drank some more wine. “I’m not sure I like any of them right now.”
“Maybe just picture someone who’s really gentle, like…” Kylie apparently couldn’t think of anyone.
“Like Mr. Rogers,” I supplied.
Sierra stared at me for a moment and then we were all laughing, aided by the alcohol, no doubt. “There’s no way I could kiss Mr. Rogers, but for an entirely different set of reasons.”
“I always hated the way he changed shoes at the beginning of every episode,” Kylie said. “Who wants to see men’s stinky socks?”
I got to giggling and found it hard to stop. “But if there’s no real man you want to kiss, could you make one up? Like, invent the perfect man in your head. Or a fictional one, from a romance book.” I had a friend who wrote romance novels.
“I guess,” Sierra said, growing serious again. “But the sex scene is the bigger problem.”
“What happened with that?” I asked.
“We haven’t shot it yet. Tomorrow we’re going rehearse the scene, kind of like a walkthrough to block everything out and stuff. Then we shoot it on Monday.”
I frowned. “Why are they filming it here? I thought they were only shooting car chases and outdoor scenes.” Crap, I was lousy at following NDAs. But then again, most action movies had those things, right?
“I don’t know,” Sierra said. “It’s being shot inside on a set that looks like a hotel room, so you’d think they’d wait until we’re back at the main studios.”
“That makes no sense.”
“I think it was the assistant director’s idea,” Sierra said.
“Henderson?”
“Yeah. He thinks it’s important that it’s filmed in order so that it’ll be more realistic. Like so that Aiden’s and my characters will have unresolved sexual tension before the sex scene and we’ll interact differently afterwards.”
Kylie spoke up. “I don’t know much about making movies, but that kind of sounds like bull.”
“It does to me, too,” Sierra said. “I mean, the whole point of acting is that you don't have to film everything in order. You can act like something has or hasn’t happened yet. I think it’s just because Henderson wants to be involved in the shoot. This is kind of his show out here. If it happened back at the studio, then the director would handle it.”