“No, not anymore. I’m expecting, so I don’t think guys would really be into that.”
Lindy shakes her head.
“No, I wouldn’t say that,” she says. “There are guys who are really into pregnant sex, you know. You can get a pretty penny if you’re willing to put out even as late as your third trimester.”
But what Lindy doesn’t realize is that I don’t want to put out – at least not with anyone other than Clay and Casper.
“I’ll talk to management about it,” I murmur with a smile. “Thanks for chatting.”
“Oh sure!” Lindy exclaims before rising. “Can I get you another coffee?” she asks, eyeing my almost-finished cup. “Decaf of course, and on the house.”
But I shake my head and stand as well.
“No, I’m good. It was nice meeting you,” I call to the younger woman while exiting the café. It’s only after walking halfway down the block that my shoulders slump. What am I doing? What do Lindy’s words mean?
Tears threaten to spill as I meander slowly back to my apartment. I miss Casper and Clay. I’m angry with them for what they did, but I want them in my life. I need them in my life, if I’m being honest, and not just because of the baby.
After all, Casper and Clay have always treated me well, and helped me with several breakthroughs. I now know that I don’t want to be an attorney anymore. I don’t to do criminal defense work, and I never want to go back to the law firm. They helped me realize that, and I’ll always be grateful. Moreover, they came into my life at a time when I needed adventure, and they swept me off my feet, to my eternal delight. If it weren’t for them, I’d still be killing myself at work for a chance at a promotion that could be years away, if ever. I owe them a lot.
Yet, it’s hard to forget that they were using me. Club Z may be a great place to work from Lindy’s perspective, but that doesn’t mean that it’s right for me. After all, I’m pregnant now, and in love with the twins. How can I sexually service other men when Casper and Clay mean the world to me?
This is an awful situation, and when I return to my apartment, I get right back into bed as a cloud of depression descends again. None of my problems have been solved, and I don’t know what to do about them either.
11
Clay
* * *
It’s been the most miserable ten days of my life.
“We need to get ourselves out of this funk,” Casper growls. He’s sprawled on the couch in sweatpants, watching reruns of a funny sitcom we used to like, but the dude looks worse for the wear. His hair is sticking up on end, and there’s a faint waft of body odor coming from his direction. Has he showered in the past few days? Have I showered? Who knows?
It’s been like this ever since Mara walked out on us. We took the opportunity to work at home in order to spare our employees our presence. But we barely get anything done because it’s hard to be motivated when you’ve lost the woman you love
And it’s all our fault too! What were we thinking? Actually, I know what we were thinking because everything she accused of us was true. We were trying to groom her for a position with Club Z, but somewhere along the line, we fell in love with the curvy girl and now it’s all gone to shit. Our past actions are damning, and I have no idea how we can recover from this fucking clusterfuck.
“So what do we do?” I growl at my brother while flopping down onto the other couch with a bowl of popcorn. I’m dressed in stained boxers that should have been washed three days ago, but I don’t care.
He sighs.
“I don’t know. Should we try calling her again?”
I snort with disgust. “Yeah, but she didn’t answer the last twenty times. I think we blew it, bro. She’s gone.”
My brother looks gloomy.
“Fuck me.”
I sigh too.
“Fuck. I don’t even know what we could’ve done differently. Tell Mara the truth? How do you even explain a truth like that? Yeah, come work for me at my sex club. I want to see you put out for other men so that I can make money off your sweet body. Fuck, it makes us sound like pimps!” I rage.
“Because in a way, we are,” Casper growls while scratching himself where the sun don’t shine. “Fuuuuck.”
We sink into a deafening silence as the TV buzzes tinnily. I’m just about to drift off when the doorbell rings and I jolt awake.
“Yo, did you order food or something?”
Casper looks just as mystified. “No. Maybe yes. I don’t remember.”