And he had to tell her, right now, this minute. Where the hell was his phone?
His doorbell chimed. Praying that just thinking of Lyssa had called her to him, he all but ran for the door.
And there she was, beautiful and sweet and everything he could ever want.
He wanted to stroke her cheek, but he didn’t, not yet. “How did you know I was thinking about you and wishing you were here?”
The hint of a smile lifted her lips. “It’s our connection, Cal. It’s so strong that nothing can ever break it.” She reached for his hand. “Or us.” She raised an eyebrow. “Even when you act like an idiot over and over again.”
He dragged her into his arms. “Thank God you’re not going to kick me to the curb.” Drawing back, he drank in her beautiful face. “Even though we both know I deserve it.”
She didn’t say anything to that, simply raised her hand to his battered face. “Why don’t you let me inside and tell me what’s going around and around inside that big, brilliant head of yours? That is, if you’re ready to talk.”
“I am. Beyond ready. I know I shouldn’t have left again, but it turns out there was something I really needed to do, even though I hadn’t realized it yet.”
She came inside and stopped at the sight of the old photos spread across the coffee table. Then she reached for one, lifted it, a Polaroid that had gone a little blurry with age. “Is this your mother and father? And you as a little boy?”
He nodded, an ache tightening his chest. “I’ve hidden my past away for too long. Not only from you, but also from myself.” He drew her down to the couch with him. “I told you about what my father did, but I didn’t tell you how much I worried about becoming like him. I didn’t tell you how I vowed never to be a liar like he was, never to do the awful things he did. And that vow has shaped my life for the past thirty years.” He dragged in a breath, let it out. “After your brother called me out for sleeping with you—a woman who was not only my friend, but also my employee, and twenty years my junior—he tapped right into the part of me that’s always been afraid I’d end up being just like my father. A man who was capable of harassing someone he worked with.”
“Cal, you didn’t harass me.”
“I know that now, and I know for sure that what we did was mutual. Just as I’ve finally come to understand that my father didn’t harass his secretary either. He truly loved her, and that’s why he left my mother and me. I never even tried to understand his reasons for breaking my trust and my mother’s heart in such a terrible way. Because I never wanted to accept that love had anything to do with it.”
He held out his hand, and when Lyssa curled her fingers around his, he didn’t even feel the ache of his bruised knuckles. There was only her warmth, her love.
“He was never the same after that,” he told her. “Neither was my mother. And the ironic twist is that once he confessed and blew apart our family, the secretary left him, telling him she’d never had any intention of living the rest of her life with an old man. I’m not sure what killed him—losing her or his family or his self-respect—but he died of a heart attack not long after that. And then cancer took my mother, the bitterness eating her up inside until there was nothing left of her.”
“I’m so sorry for all the pain you and your family went through,” she said softly. “But I still can’t help but wonder if your father was really a bad man, or if he was just a man who made a mistake, a big one, falling in love when he shouldn’t have, and with the wrong woman who didn’t care about him. His actions destroyed your family, Cal, but I can’t believe he ever stopped loving you.”
He nodded, leaning down to kiss the back of her hand. “You’ve just said everything I realized last night.” He laughed softly. “More like this morning.”
“I know it without a doubt,” she said. “How could anyone stop loving you?” He was still reeling from the wonder of her words when she added, “Maybe it’s time you forgave him. Once you do, you can stop worrying that being like him is a bad thing, or that you won’t be a good father. Especially when I know for certain you’re going to be the best father ever.”
He breathed in deeply, as if he could breathe in her belief in him. “How can you know that for sure?”