Her eyes grew big at his reminder of how much he wanted her. How much he’d always wanted her. How much he always would.
He could have sworn he saw desire mirrored in her eyes. Then again, the attraction between them had never been the issue. No, it was all of his nonsense. Nonsense that had all but kicked the doors to her heart closed.
“I appreciate your apologies for your stupid behavior,” she replied, “but we can’t ignore the hurdles we’re going to face in all directions. In fact, as soon as my brothers find out…” She grimaced. “I guarantee they’ll go out of their way to send you packing.” Send you packing was a much more positive spin than murder you painfully.
“At the risk of sounding like a broken record, I meant it when I said I’m not afraid of their reactions. Even if they want to break business ties with me. Even if they need to pummel me to dust.” Putting his hand over hers—even as he forced himself not to linger, no matter how badly he wanted to—he said, “Don’t worry, Lyssa. Every step of the way, we’re in this together.” He paused before adding, “I understand you need time to wrap your head around this huge change in your life, but I want you to know that whenever you’re ready to talk about our future, I’ll be waiting and absolutely ready too.”
* * *
Lyssa took a chocolate chip cookie from the plate that Cal had put out for them and shoved it into her mouth. She was suddenly ravenously hungry. Because she was pregnant, of course. But also, without being able to sate her hunger for Cal, she needed to sate her hunger for food instead.
He’d been great about everything so far, especially giving her time to process before they made any big decisions about how to move forward.
Lord knew she needed that time. She was still upside down and inside out. Nothing this major had ever happened to her, and she desperately wanted to get it right. The child she was growing deserved that, but so did she. And even though she’d never again make the mistake of trusting Cal with her heart, she still believed he deserved all good things too.
She knew one thing for sure. Cal was this child’s father, and she wanted him to be involved in every step of her pregnancy and childbirth, for the baby’s sake. “I made an appointment with an obstetrician, if you’d like to go with me.”
His whole face brightened. “Of course I do. When’s the appointment? I’ll put it on my calendar.”
“In a couple of weeks.”
“Two weeks?” He stared at her, aghast. “Shouldn’t you go right away to make sure everything’s okay?”
“I did five tests already at home to confirm that I’m pregnant, and given my age, being pregnant is in no way a medical emergency. Two weeks was the earliest opening they had. They said that timing would be perfect, in fact.”
“Okay, if you say so. It’s just that two weeks seems like a long time to wait to have the doctor confirm that everything is going well and is on track.”
“Believe me, I want to confirm that too,” she told him.
When she met his eyes, their connection was off the charts. Surpassing even the two times they’d come together.
But though the force of her feelings threatened to overwhelm her—especially with the new hormones racing through her veins—she’d never forget the devastation to her heart when he’d flown away from Catalina Island mere minutes after that beautiful, momentous interlude in the glade. Mere minutes after she’d been so certain they could overcome any hurdle preventing their relationship. She’d even winked at him.
It made her cringe, remembering that. Which was why, instead of allowing herself to foolishly get caught up in emotion and attraction, she slapped another layer on the wall she’d erected around her heart. Clearing her throat, she pivoted to something far easier and more clear-cut. Work.
“Gideon sent that proposal for the foster care house while we were in the Caribbean. He’s waiting for our feedback.” It would be the foundation’s first project. Gideon had seen a house in San Jose he wanted the foundation to purchase and renovate.
Though Cal looked disappointed by the change of subject, obviously wanting to steer them back to the baby, he reached into his bag for his computer.
Despite pushing them into work mode, Lyssa had trouble concentrating. Whenever she glanced at his long fingers and strong hands as he turned a page, pointing out an issue, reading a phrase aloud, it was impossible to keep her thoughts straight. Not when she couldn’t stop thinking how good his hands had felt on her, how amazing their hot quickie had been on Catalina. How sweet and luxurious the hours they’d spent in that bed back there had been. How much she’d wanted him last night at the Westerbourne estate, only a wall away, so close she could have tiptoed into his bedroom without making a sound to climb naked into his bed.