My biggest problem is the very thing that just made me fall for him—Fia—makes it impossible to be around him.
I can’t do it.
It’s just too painful to be near that sweet, adorable baby. Even after all these years.
Yes, I said I’d help him, and I will try to keep that promise because I wish someone had been there for me when I needed help. Still, that doesn’t change how I feel. I don’t know how much longer I’ll be able to keep up this lie and pretend I’m okay with being a part of his life.
I glance down at the sweet little baby girl in her crib. “I’m sorry I’m so fucked up. Because you are perfect, little one. And so is your daddy.”
I go to the kitchen and start preparing for the rest of the evening. Better to treat tonight like a job. Don’t get emotional. Focus on the task.
NINA
I can’t believe Dean. He doesn’t have a clue about how I feel, does he?
I’m such an idiot. I’ve been running around like a lovesick puppy ever since he moved into my complex. I mean, look at the guy. He’s tall, ripped, and totally charismatic—but not in a gross cocky way. He’s more of the quiet, strong type.
And those eyes… (Insert image of me fanning face.) Hazel has always been my thing, but his eyes are like sexy mood rings. Some days I could swear they’re forest green with gold flecks. Other days, they’re a rich warm brown with olive-green speckles. And when he’s between your thighs, his eyes are just…intense. Which leads to my other point: his dick.
Wait. Let me back up before I go there.
I met Dean at their housewarming party—really just a bunch of their football teammates and a few people from our complex. I showed up with my roommate, Kimmie, because she said some hot guy named Mike invited her, so I had to be her wing bitch. Fine. I owed her one. Plus it had been months since I’d touched a carb. Or a dick. So, yeah. Free beer. Maybe score an orgasm. Why not?
I’d just chopped off all my hair for practical purposes, so that night, I made a special effort to wear something extra girly and sexy. My flat chest and lean, boyish frame often mislead guys into thinking I’m into chicks. Nope. I like dick. I like muscles. But I also love to run. I love to work my body to the point of exhaustion.
Anyway, I dressed in a short skirt, tight tank top, and sandals. Red lipstick and silver earrings punctuated my fashion statement. Statement: Let’s fuck.
Ready for action, I walked into Dean’s place and wasn’t disappointed. An ocean of tall, muscled men lay before me, and any one of them would do since I was only after a good time.
Then I saw Dean.
He was standing by the keg, surrounded by four girls. All pretty. All giggling and batting their eyelashes. Couldn’t blame them. He looks like a long-lost Hemsworth brother, but with short dark hair and shoulders you could build a treehouse on. Yummy.
But what really got my attention, besides his incredible looks, was the fact he wasn’t flirting back. He just stood there, being a polite host, nodding respectfully at the girls as they chatted away. I figured maybe he wasn’t into women.
So disappointed, I thought. The hottest ones are always gay.
Later that night, I found him on his balcony, sitting alone and chilling with his phone, reviewing plays for some upcoming game. Long story short, we got to talking about athlete life, had a few beers, and he made a move. No one was more shocked than me.
And let me tell you…
It.
Was.
Amazing.
His lips. Wow. The way he kissed, like he was hungry for my touch. How his big strong body moved over mine, like he savored being inside me. And his hip action, like he really took my pleasure seriously. No rapid releases with this guy.
Yes, and now we get to the part about his dick.
At first, I thought I was hallucinating. Then I panicked a little. My fingers could not close around his velvety hard shaft. Way too thick. As for length, well, images of a prize-winning cucumber at the state fair come to mind.
Give that man a gold ribbon, ladies!
I didn’t just see fireworks when I came, I saw my entire life flash before my eyes. I saw dancing bears, singing birds, and every kind of happy cartoon animal known to man. Magical.
The next morning was where I blew it. I’d never actually had the urge to spend more than one night with a guy, but Dean had me livestreaming all sorts of fantasies in my head.
So yes, I fled back to my place. Biggest mistake of my life.
A few days later, he showed up at my door, and I was thinking, Yes! He’s back for more! He’s into me. Because, honestly, I hadn’t been able to stop thinking about him.