“It’s okay, Amelia. Everything is okay,” he said, pressing a kiss to her head.
Nodding, she fought to get her breathing under control. When she felt stable enough, she pulled away, scrubbing her hands over her eyes. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to do that. I’ve never cried like that before.”
“Maybe it was time,” he replied softly, brushing his thumb under her eye, catching a stray tear. “You said yourself that you missed her, even though you never knew her. And now you do. You have her pictures, and more importantly, her words. It’s okay to miss her, and it’s okay to mourn her. I have a feeling you never really have.”
“No,” she replied, acknowledging that to herself for the first time. “You’re right. I never have.” She took a deep breath, and let it out with a shaky laugh. “I must look like a mess right now.”
Running his eyes over her face, he shook his head. “You look beautiful. You always do.”
“Flatterer,” she accused with a laugh, feeling herself start to perk up as she always did in his presence. He banished the sadness, the demons she hadn’t even known she had.
“Are you feeling any better now?”
Taking another deep breath, she nodded. “Yes. I needed to read that, and I think I really needed that cry, as well. Thank you for being here, for allowing me to lose myself all over you.”
“It was my honor to be here when you needed me, Amelia,” he replied, eyes full of intensity, like he was willing her to see how much he meant it. “I will always be here when you need me.”
“I believe you,” she said whisper soft, the truth of that sinking into her. He’d be there for her whenever she needed him, and that was a priceless gift. She’d never had anyone backing her up before, and her heart warmed as she realized that now she did.
“Do you mind if I take a quick shower? I want to wash the sweat from the fight away.”
“No, not at all. There are towels in the hall bathroom. The water takes a moment to get warm, but it lasts a while before it runs out.”
“Got it. I shouldn’t be too long,” he said, squeezing her hand as he passed by.
Once he was out of sight and she heard the shower turn on, she double checked to make sure the oven was off before heading to the couch and plopping down with a sigh. The letter from her mother hit her hard, and she felt the truth of her mother’s words down to her soul.
What Amelia had been doing wasn’t living. She poured everything she was into her career, into science. She buried her pain, her loss, her longing, channeling it into becoming nothing more than a robot. No feeling things, no living. She didn’t want to be that way anymore. She wanted to live. She didn’t want to hesitate.
She wanted to jump. And she wanted to jump with Seth.
Her phone dinged, distracting her, and she opened it to find the icon for the group chat she was in with the other researchers in her lab back home flashing. She answered, getting sucked into a discussion about recessive genes, and was unware of time passing until she heard the bathroom door open. Glancing up, she watched as Seth walked out of the hallway and paused in the entry of the living room. The breath left her lungs in a whoosh. He had his jeans on, but his feet were bare, and he hadn’t bothered to put on a shirt.
He had muscles for days, and his bicep bulged as he lifted his arm to run his fingers through his wet hair. Her eyes caught on a bead of water on his well-defined pecs, following its journey as it slid down his chiseled six pack, and absorbed into the waistband of his jeans. He had a happy trail leading down from his belly button, and her eyes got caught on the V of his hips.
“What the hell is that noise?”
“Just my phone,” she replied absently, unable to stop her eyes from following the V down to the bulge in his jeans. “I’m in a group chat with my coworkers, and they’re a chatty bunch. My dong goes off every time they talk.”
“Your what?” he asked, voice incredulous.
“Hmmm?” she asked distractedly, finally pulling her eyes to his face when his tone registered. Quickly running through the conversation in her mind, she froze as she realized what she said. Dong. Oh fecking hell, she said dong. “Ding! I meant ding. My phone dings every time they talk, which is a lot, because you know, like I said, they’re a chatty bunch.”
Quickly clamping her mouth shut to stop her babbling, she closed her eyes in mortification, blood rushing to her cheeks as he laughed, wishing more than anything for the floor to open up and swallow her whole. That was what she got for staring at his privates while talking. At the rate she made a fool of herself in front of him, he would no doubt start to wonder if she was telling the truth about being smart enough to be a scientist.
Finally opening her eyes, she braved a glance at him. He laughter was dying down, his face red from how hard he laughed. Still chuckling, he made his way over and took a seat on the couch next to her.
“I don’t think I’ve ever heard anything funnier,” he said, grin playing on his lips. “You’re super smart. You should totally invent that. A voice activated dong. Market it right, and it would sell like hotcakes, I guarantee that.”
She rolled her eyes, fresh heat rushing to her cheeks. “I don’t think inventing new sex toys is my calling. And I’m starting to wonder how you’re not doubting my intelligence, what with the stuff I’ve said. I swear I’m usually poised and in control of all things, including my speech.”
“No doubt you are,” he replied, taking her hand in his and interlacing their fingers. “Maybe I’m rubbing off on you.”
“How? I haven’t heard you say anything even remotely off the wall since I’ve known you, and practically every other sentence that comes out of my mouth is humiliating.”
“Trust me, that’s abnormal for me. I’m usually nothing short of idiotic with the shit I say. It’s just that lately, things have been a little different.”
“Really? I’m not sure I can picture that. Why have things been different?”