Ian looked at him for a moment, then jerked his head toward the porch. “Come with me.”
Exhaling, Seth put down the book he was unsuccessfully trying to read, and followed Ian outside. “Look, man, I really didn’t say anything to piss Jax off.”
“That’s what bothers me,” Ian replied seriously.
“What? Why? You’re always telling me to tone it down.”
“But you never listen. You’ve been acting differently for a couple months, ever since Cammie was kidnapped.”
Avoiding Ian’s eyes, Seth rubbed a hand over the back of his neck. “I’ve still been an ass since then.”
“You’ve been forcing it, trying to pretend you’re fine, but we can all see you’re not. Did you really think you could fool us? What’s going on, Seth?”
“It just brought memories of the past back up. I’m working through it. I’ll be back to myself in no time.”
Ian studied him, slowly shaking his head. “You almost sounded truthful, but you didn’t quite manage it. Keep putting the work in. It’s just not the same around here when you’re not being an ass.”
Clapping him on the shoulder, Ian went back inside. Seth leaned against the railing, breathing the night air, and listened to Jax pounding the drums. Shifters all had their own special gifts. Some were physical, some were mental. Both he and Jax had physical gifts. Seth’s was making something beautiful out of wood. Jax could play any musical instrument set in front of him like he’d taken lessons from birth.
He usually played his guitars, but when something pissed him off, or he was worked up about something, he’d play the drums. The heavy, fast beat suited Seth’s mood tonight. The words his leopard spoke to him left him feeling off, and four days later, he still wasn’t back to normal.
But what was normal, really? He hadn’t been himself since Cammie was kidnapped, Ian was right about that. The whole situation reminded him of his childhood, and left him shaken.
Told you you’re a pussy. A real leopard wouldn’t let something like that bother him.
Seth snarled at his cat. Maybe that makes me a pussy, but you’re still a dick. Looks like we truly belong together.
The leopard went silent after that, with no comeback, but Seth still couldn’t relax, his mind flashing back to his past; being snatched from the field behind his home when he was seven and held for ransom, and his family’s rejection when he was released and sent home.
The moment that rival leopard clan took him outside of clan lands, his fate was sealed. He would never be the same in the eyes of his family or his clan.
It took years after the incident for him to feel like he wasn’t suffocating inside. Humor, jokes, making others laugh, were what ultimately pulled him out of his downward spiral. Sometimes he took it too far, but it was when others were hurting that he tried too hard, putting his foot in his mouth even more than usual.
Usually, he was lighthearted, but lately, he felt every bit of his twenty-seven years, and then some. He’d felt ancient in the last two months, really. He wanted to snap out of it and put the past back where it belonged, but he didn’t know how.
An image of the woman from the fight floated through his mind, but despite feeling his leopard stir at the thought of her, he did his best to shake it away. He wouldn’t lie to himself and pretend he didn’t want her. But he never fooled himself, thinking he was good enough for anyone, and he definitely wasn’t good enough for someone like her. She was class personified, and he was the class clown.
There was no way she would want someone like him. If he wasn’t enough for his family, he sure as shit wouldn’t be enough for someone like her. And even if for some reason she did want him, he still wasn’t sure he’d give in. She deserved better than a fucked in the head leopard shifter.
Chewing on her lip, Amelia stared at herself in the full-length mir
ror. She was wearing a t-shirt, jeans, and sneakers. It felt incredibly odd to dress so casual, but she couldn’t deny the clothes were comfortable. And she looked like any other woman from Eagle Creek. Just what she was going for.
Nodding her head in satisfaction, she went to the bathroom and opened the case containing the contacts she bought yesterday. She washed her hands as she studied the small discs. Surely putting them in couldn’t be too hard. Gingerly picking one up on the end of her finger, she placed it in her eye, blinking wildly and trying to get it settled into place. It felt like there was something stuck between the lens and her eye, and she turned from the sink, hopping and blinking, cursing as pain stabbed her eye. The pain suddenly ended as it popped out, and she watched with dismay as it fell into the toilet.
“Bugger,” she exclaimed, staring at it as it floated in the water.
Well, she obviously couldn’t use that one now. Grateful she bought more than one pair, she got another container out and opened it carefully. This time, she used the solution the optometrist recommended, rinsing it thoroughly before inserting it. Luckily, she didn’t have issues the second time, and she quickly popped the other one in. They felt peculiar, and she looked different without her glasses, but this was going to work, she could tell.
Pulling out the makeup, she carefully applied the foundation the attendant at the store helped her pick out, and then tried to put eye shadow on. Frowning for a moment, because it looked nothing like it had when the sales lady demonstrated it, she finally shrugged and pulled out the mascara. Untwisting the cap, she pulled the wand out and studied it for a moment, but it looked pretty self-explanatory.
Leaning in closer to the mirror, she brought the wand to her eye, successfully making a sweeping pass over her lashes. See, she could do this. Gaining confidence, she went to make another swipe, gasping when she poked herself in the eye with the wand.
“Bloody hell,” she cursed, dropping the wand in the sink as she slapped a hand over her stinging eye. Hopping around the bathroom for a moment, she waited for the pain to fade. Finally, it began to ease, and she pulled her hand away to look at her eye in the mirror.
Well, shit. She looked like a racoon. The mascara was smeared around her eye, and she looked down to see it streaked across her hand as well. Okay. This wasn’t going to be as easy as she thought it would be.
Squaring her shoulders in determination, she washed her face clean of the makeup and started over, going slowly. She could do this. She was a scientist, for crying out loud. Surely she could figure out how to apply a little makeup.