She found herself wondering about him all the time. About his likes and dislikes, what made him tick. About what his life had been like, what he was good at, what he did for a living.
Whether he had a girlfriend or not.
It was the last thought that freaked her out the most. She had no business wondering if he had someone back home, wherever that may be, who was waiting on him. And she’d never wondered about a man, and his life, with so much intensity before. Never felt so attracted to one before.
Oh, she’d had a few lovers back in Washington, where they lived before coming to Eagle Creek. Pleasantly attractive humans who were looking for nothing more than she was—just some brief moments of pleasure, and an escape from the monotony of life.
She’d never met one who could make her heart race with a glance. One who, she was sure, if he ever touched her, would incinerate her insides with the heat of his touch. That was Alex, in a nutshell. Add in the fact that it wasn’t just his body she was lusting after, but his mind as well, and she knew she was screwed.
Shaking those thoughts from her head, she had Shelby sit the table while she got the food out of the oven. By the time everything was on the table, the guys had all taken their seats, the food and conversation flowing freely.
“This is really good, Cammie,” Alex said, gesturing at the casserole.
“Thanks,” she replied, keeping her eyes on her plate. She couldn’t engage. Couldn’t look at him, talk to him. Nothing that would make staying away from him even harder.
“You excited to learn to fight, Alex?” Seth asked.
“I am. I’ve never done anything like that before. I don’t think, anyway,” he replied, and she couldn’t help flickering her gaze to him. He had a frown on his handsome face, and he was pushing the casserole around on his plate.
A wave of compassion washed over her as she thought for the first time how hard it must be to have no knowledge of your past, of who you really are. She realized she was staring at him when he suddenly looked up and locked gazes with her. She got stuck in his gray eyes for a split second before she ripped her eyes away, but that split second was all it took. Her dragon was stirring in her chest, just from that little bit of eye contact.
“Cammie, are you okay?” Ian asked, interrupting her thoughts.
“Just been a long day,” she replied. It was the truth, but she hoped he didn’t hear any off notes in her voice, clueing him in that something else was going on.
Glancing up, she looked around the table, still avoiding Alex. Everyone was busy eating, and she stifled a laugh as Seth tried to take a biscuit from Jax’s plate, narrowly escaping Jax’s stab with his fork. But when she looked at Ian, he was watching her, eyes narrowed. Uncomfortable with the intensity of his look, she glanced down at her plate. Maybe she should just ignore everyone at dinner tonight.
Her thoughts immediately turned to her dragon, and how she woke up whenever Alex was close. That was bad, because her animal was interested in him. Maybe too interested. Cammie didn’t like to use the “M” word, because she didn’t want to put dangerous thoughts in her dragon’s head, if they weren’t there already.
She didn’t have room in her life for a mate. They would only be a liability, someone else she had to worry about protecting, when she wasn’t altogether certain she could protect herself against what was inevitably coming for her. A strong shifter might be someone she could take the risk on. But a human with no added strength or skills… that had to be a hard no.
The powerful attraction she had for him, her dragon’s interest, all of it. It scared the shit out of her, plain and simple.
She needed to ignore today’s conversation, block it, and how much she and her dragon both longed for more, out, and go back to pretending he didn’t exist. It’s what was safest, for her mind as well as her soul.
“Do you need any help cleaning up?” Alex asked Cammie as everyone started filing out of the dining room.
“No, I’m fine,” she replied, not e
ven glancing his way as she grabbed his plate.
His eyes narrowed, wondering what was going on. They had a pleasant afternoon, but she spent all of dinner refusing to speak to him, or even look his way.
This couldn’t be because he asked her to tell him about herself. It felt like there was something more going on he was missing, but he didn’t know how to ask her what was wrong. He was tempted to dig his heels in and help her whether she wanted it or not.
“Alex, dude, she said she’s got this. Leave the little lady to do the clean-up and come on,” Seth urged from the doorway.
He watched Cammie tighten her lips and stiffen, expecting her to respond to the sexist remark. But she just turned and started putting leftovers away. Hell, he was offended, even though he knew Seth hadn’t meant it like it sounded. Probably.
Alex reluctantly stood and followed Seth to the front porch where Ian and Jax were already sitting. Jax, his customary ballcap pulled low over his eyes, was plucking at the strings of his guitar, and Ian was slowly rocking in his chair, looking off into the distance.
“Cammie is going to take that out of your hide,” Ian told Seth without looking his way.
Seth snorted as he picked up a knife and a block of wood from a basket on the porch. “She wishes she could take me.”
“She has taken you, dumbass,” Jax said quietly, a smirk on his face. “She can kick your ass. We all know it. How many times does she have to do it before you stop conveniently forgetting?”
“I wish I could have been there to see Cammie kicking Seth’s ass. I’m gonna make sure I’m there the next time to watch it happen. You deserve it, Seth,” Alex said with a smirk. It was true, Seth did deserve to have his ass kicked by the ‘little lady’ for what he said.