Tarun nodded with agreement. “We really don’t. It’s just that Noah’s special to us. He’s a great guy, and he’s been through a lot. We don’t want to see him get hurt.”
“I don’t want that, either. I came here to make sure he wasn’t hurt, not to cause him any. But I think you’re both mistaken if you think I have that kind of power over him.”
Tarun smiled, the expression knowing. “I wouldn’t be so sure of that. He might be huge, but he’s a gentle giant. He feels things strongly, and you might be surprised at what—and who—has that power.”
Damara laughed lightly, breaking the weird tension as she stood. “Okay, with that, I think we ought to leave before we overstay our welcome, if we haven’t already.”
Lily stood as well, shaking her head. “Not at all. I understand why y’all had questions. I’m mostly just feeling grateful that Noah has people in his life who care enough to ask those questions.”
“The Enforcers are more like a family than friends. There’s nothing we wouldn’t do for one of our own.”
Smiling at Damara’s words, she said goodnight as Tarun closed the door behind them. Standing still in the middle of the room for a few moments, she breathed deep and even, like she’d been taught in counseling. Feeling herself relax a little, she went to her suitcase and got out her pajamas. It’d been a tiring day.
She was happy that Noah had the Enforcers in his corner, she really was, but she was feeling an ugly emotion, too.
Jealousy.
She didn’t have what he had, and she’d probably give her right arm for it. Exhaling heavily, she pulled her tank top on and fished for her toothbrush and toothpaste. She did everything on autopilot, her mind a million miles away as she got ready for bed.
Her parents had been only children of only children, so when they passed away while she was in college, she lost basically all of her family. It hurt, but she had Brandon there, being strong for her, and loaning her his own mom when she desperately needed that mom feeling in her life.
His dad passed away when he was young, and like her, he hadn’t had any other family. It was only the three of them, and they’d considered themselves family since high school. A feeling that was solidified and made real when she and Brandon married.
And they’d had many friends. Being in the military meant moving every few years, but the bonds they forged at each base were strong, for the most part. The men formed their bonds while risking their lives for each other, and the women while clinging to each other when the men were deployed.
But when Brandon died, Lily had become so lost in her grief that the only one who could ever come close to reaching her was Mary, her mother-in-law. Her friends tried, she was sure, but very little could penetrate her grief back then. And so slowly, one by one, everyone disappeared from her life.
What finally broke through the fog that she lived her life surrounded in was when Mary got sick the year before. She had a cold that turned into pneumonia, and she went downhill fast after that. Lily would never forget what she’d said as she laid on the hospital bed, fading quickly.
“Lily, you know I love you. But you’ve got to snap out of this. You have a life to live, and knowing you as I do, it could be amazing. But you’re barely putting the effort in to exist. The spark of life is almost gone inside of you. And if I had the energy to do it, I’d slap you upside your head. I’m only sorry I didn’t do it sooner.
“There’ve been a lot of senseless deaths in this family. So much tragedy and heartbreak. But here you are, still alive, and you need to feed that spark inside you. Start living again, Lily. For all of us, for yourself, and for Brandon. Do you think he’d like to see you just barely existing? No. I know my boy. He loved you more than anything and all he’d ever want is for you to finally be happy again. To fall in love again. Maybe get married again one day and have kids. So if for no one else, do it for him. Make it happen, Lily.”
Those words had been burned into her brain, and she recalled them with perfect clarity. They were what finally got her to begin moving past her grief, but when she’d come out of that fog and looked around, she had no one left.
It was really no one’s fault but her own. Brandon’s death had all but destroyed her, and she hadn’t done anything to fight through it. It was something she regr
etted deeply.
Maybe that was part of why she’d wanted to find Noah. As much as they hadn’t been close, they were still closer than anyone else she knew. And he was the last link she had to the past, when she had people who’d been there for her, no matter what. She wanted to know what that felt like again.
Sighing as she laid on the bed, she reached over and turned off the lamp, staring up at the dark ceiling. She was feeling a little on the lost and pathetic side after that realization, but the reasons for her finding Noah were, at the core, the same.
To make sure he was okay and to give him the box she brought with her.
She wasn’t convinced that he was okay, though. Maybe he really was part of some secretive law enforcement branch—and that fit with the man she’d known before better than him being involved in drugs or something illegal.
But she still couldn’t shake her suspicion. There was something inside her telling her there was more to the story, that there was more than met the eye with his new life.
And she wasn’t going anywhere until she figured out what was going on and knew he was going to be safe.
Noah felt irritation flow through him as he walked down the hallway and saw Blake standing by his bedroom door. Mouth tightening, he shoved open his door and walked in without saying a word.
“I guess that means you’re still pissed,” Blake said as he walked in and shut the door behind him.
“Lily has no business going with me. She’s a human, Blake. Since when do you let humans go on Enforcer missions? Especially uninitiated humans.”
“She has a skill we can use, and there won’t be any danger involved in this, Noah. I think you’re more upset about her going because you volunteered to leave to get away from her.”