“Why are you here, Lily? You just happening to walk in here couldn’t have been a coincidence. I haven’t seen you in years, and Nevada’s a long way from Virginia.”
“Three years.”
He frowned as he finally looked back over at her. “What?”
“It’s been three years and four months since we’ve seen each other. At Brandon’s funeral. You disappeared after that, and this is where I find you? I heard someone say this is a motorcycle clubhouse. What the hell happened to you, Noah?”
Noah closed his eyes at the suppressed grief in Lily’s voice. He knew it wasn’t for him—it was for Brandon, and that same grief washed over him. Opening his eyes, he studied her as he sought to find words. Any words. Because it felt like the ability to speak had suddenly deserted him.
Lily looked much the same as she had before. She was average in height, but like most people, she seemed small next to him. Her blonde hair was loose, hanging almost to her waist, a few inches longer than it’d been the last time he saw her.
Her face was oval, and she had high cheekbones, with a pert nose set above full lips. Her blue eyes were large in her face, the striking shade hitting him like a punch to the gut, as always—light blue near the pupils, darkening to a ring of blue-black on the rims.
And they were currently staring at him with suspicion, but he didn’t miss the glimmer of hurt she was trying to hide.
“Well? You’ve always been quiet with me, but you have been known to speak on occasion. And maybe you still don’t like me, but we had a connection through Brandon. So like it or not, I care about you, because of that. Because of Brandon.”
He frowned, finally finding his voice. “Where did you get the idea that I don’t like you?”
That time, it was Lily who looked away. “You rarely spoke to me, but I know you were outgoing with everyone else. Brandon told me. It was a logical assumption.”
“It wasn’t because I didn’t like you, Lily.”
Her eyes shot back to him as she wrinkled her brow. “Then why?”
He couldn’t tell her the truth. Just thinking it made him feel guilty as fuck. The reason he hadn’t talked much wasn’t because he disliked her. It was the opposite. He liked her too much. The honest truth was, he’d been attracted to her. And it had made him uncomfortable, on top of feeling like scum for being attracted to his friend’s wife. He’d been worried that he’d make it too obvious when they were all together, so he didn’t speak much and ignored her as much as possible.
Maybe that hadn’t been the right way to do it, though. He’d never meant for her to feel like he didn’t like her—he just didn’t want her or Brandon to know how much he did.
Even now, he felt ashamed of it. What the hell kind of friend was he? He’d been attracted to Brandon’s wife. And then he wasn’t able to save Brandon. He’d failed both of them, in more ways than he could count.
He’d been attracted to her. Who was he trying to kid? He was still attracted to her. And it was just what he’d been afraid of happening, and part of the reason why he never sought her out after the funeral.
He felt like shit that he wasn’t there for her the way Brandon would have wanted him to be.
But he was equally sure his friend would have killed him for wanting her the way he had.
She arched an eyebrow at him and he cleared his throat, deciding to change the subject instead of answering the question. “And what’s wrong with being in a motorcycle club?”
“Maybe nothing. I guess it all depends on what you guys do.”
“What do you mean?”
She rolled her eyes. “I wasn’t born yesterday, and I’ve watched Sons of Anarchy. Is that what y’all do here? Run drugs or guns or something illegal like that?”
Noah stared at her, unable to stop himself from chuckling a bit. “No, that’s not what we do. Nothing illegal goes on here.”
“Then how do you make your money?”
He arched an eyebrow as he gestured at the bar. “We own this place.”
Her eyes narrowed on him. “And that’s enough to support all of y’all? There are like six of you, if the deed I saw is right.”
“You got ahold of our deed to this place?”
Cheeks flushing, she shrugged as she glanced away. “I was trying to find you, and your name popped up on the deed. So yeah, I’ve seen it. I didn’t realize it was an MC until I got here, though.”
He couldn’t deny feeling impressed as he watched her. They tried to keep everything as secret as they could, so finding it couldn’t have been easy. He knew she was into computer stuff, but he hadn’t known she was that good.