“The hell are you talking about, Axel?”
“You would have tried to get me to stay. And if we kept in touch, you never would have stopped getting me to come back.”
He turned to face his brother, frustration washing over him. “Why is that wrong? I needed you here, Ax, and you left like I meant nothing to you. Like Lindsey meant nothing to you.”
Axel glared at him, a muscle ticking in his jaw. “It’s wrong because I wouldn’t have been able to tell you no. Fuck, Cody.” Inhaling deeply, he unclenched his fingers, some of his frustration fading from his eyes. “I needed to leave. I need you to understand that. Yes, the shit with Pops was the breaking point, but I had to get out of here and away from the bad fucking memories.
“I needed that or me and my gorilla were going to go crazy. I could feel it building up inside me. And if I’d talked to you, you would have talked me into staying—but I wouldn’t have been the brother you wanted by your side. As much as I love Lindsey, you were the only one who had the power to get me to stay. I had to cut off contact until I was ready to come back.”
He stared at his brother, taking in everything he said. He didn’t know if that made Axel’s actions better or worse. Maybe it didn’t change a thing, because if he’d told him, he would have understood. Now, thirteen years later, he wasn’t so sure—because it was the silence that bothered him the most.
It was like he told Olivia. Communication was the most important tool people could utilize. It was everything.
“I wish you would have just told me that when you left.”
“I was fucking seventeen, Cody. Like I knew how to talk about my emotions, even if I’d wanted to. And I didn’t. Not then.”
“And you’re ready now? Just as shit’s happening with the troop?”
Axel hesitated again. “At the risk of pissing you off even more, I think I’ve been ready for a couple of years now. It was this conversation we?
?re having right now that held me back. I didn’t know how to make you understand.”
“So, it took a threat to the troop to get you to come back and finally have this conversation. The conversation that might not have been so explosive if we’d had it a few years ago.”
“This isn’t exactly explosive, big brother.”
He snorted. “Yes, it is. You have no idea how my gorilla feels right now. No, he doesn’t want to fight you for power—he has zero interest in that and never did—but he does want to kick your ass for walking out and taking thirteen fucking years to come back.”
Axel cocked his head. “You can feel his emotions now? Does he talk, too?”
“I can feel them when they’re strong. He’s only talked to me once since Dad died, though.”
His brother nodded slowly, eyeing him knowingly. “When he told you that you found your mate.”
“Fuck, does Linds tell you everything?”
Axel shrugged unrepentantly. “Pretty much. She told me you finally put Pops in his place, too.” He grinned. “Gotta admit, that made my decision to come home even easier.”
“Asshole.”
“Always.” Grin fading, Axel’s blue eyes turned serious. “Look, if you want me to go, I will. I know you’re a great Silverback and leader. I’m not here to challenge you for that. I don’t want any part of it. I never did. But if you think you can handle me being here, I’d like to stay.”
“For as long as it takes to sort the shit out that happened the other night? Because that might be done with already.”
Shaking his head, he gazed at him steadily. “For good.”
Cody stayed quiet for a minute, just to see his brother squirm. Fucker deserved it. “You know you’re always welcome here. This is your home too, and nothing will ever change that.”
Axel’s shoulders relaxed slightly, but that was the only sign of relief he showed. “Good. And I think you and I both know that the other night most likely wasn’t the last of that shit. It was probably only the beginning.”
“You’ve always been a pessimistic shithead, you know that, right?”
“And you’ve always been an optimistic dreamer.”
He nodded. “Guess that’s why we worked so well. We balanced each other out.”
Axel nodded, walking over to grab a duffel bag by the kitchen island in the open concept room. Eyes narrowing at the sight, Cody frowned. They hadn’t gone near the kitchen when they walked in.