“Do you need company?”
The question was asked bravely, but she could see the fear in Fiona’s eyes and the way she kind of crumpled into herself as she waited for the answer. Olivia would love to have her company, but she knew she wasn’t quite ready yet.
Hell, she herself was barely ready, but she made herself do it. She hated letting fear rule her life. But she also knew, as mu
ch as her experience at Fernandez’s hands had scarred her, for her sister, it had been much worse.
“Nah, it’s just a quick trip, and one I’ve done dozens of times by myself. I’ll be fine.”
Relief washed over her face and she nodded, her shoulders straightening back up. “Okay. Be careful.” Rapping her knuckles on the door frame, she turned to go. Pausing, she glanced back at Olivia. “It’s okay to let yourself like him, you know. What I mean is… well, don’t let me be another obstacle holding you back. I can handle it.”
Before she could reply, her sister walked quickly away. But it didn’t stop her from whispering But can you? in her mind.
Guilt slithered in her belly at the unvoiced question, but she couldn’t take the thought back. It was a legitimate concern. But with it came the realization that her sister was right to wonder whether she’d be the first to know if Olivia really did like him.
Was Fiona really another obstacle holding her back? Another reason she couldn’t decide how she felt about Cody?
She hadn’t even realized it until Fiona pointed it out, but now she saw how much truth was in that.
The chips were quickly stacking up against Cody, and disappointment joined the remaining guilt. Because at this rate, if he was interested in her, she wasn’t sure she could ever open up and let him in.
Even if her dragon was right and he was a good man who’d never hurt her, she couldn’t go there with him if doing that meant hurting her sister.
Heart heavy, she left the bathroom and grabbed her purse from her room. After asking if there was anything the others needed, she slipped outside and quickly walked to her truck.
Her mind was spinning with so many contradicting thoughts that she was nearly dizzy with them. As she reached town limits, she frowned as the truck went from running smoothly to running rough. Frowning, her eyes flicked down to the gauges, unease deepening when she saw the check engine light on.
Exhaling, she continued on. She was almost to town, and the truck, while running rough, was still running. It should hold until she got back home.
She aimed for the grocery store, but when her eyes fell on the bookstore, she quickly parked in front of the charming building. A few minutes to pick up some novels wouldn’t make the truck any worse, not since it would be parked and shut off.
And she desperately needed something to get her mind off the clusterfuck building around her, and a few new books were the perfect way to do that.
This time, she didn’t sit in the truck, fighting for her courage. She immediately got out and shut the door, and only hesitated for the briefest moment before she strode toward the store.
See, Carlie? I don’t let my fears dictate what I do or don’t do, she thought to herself.
Stopping at the bookstore might seem like something miniscule, but for Olivia, it felt empowering. It was a small act, but it felt like she was taking her life back with this action—or at least, beginning to.
Walking inside felt like coming home. She’d spent most of her youth in the library back home—at least, until she started high school and suddenly, inexplicably, became popular. Something she wished had never happened, because it changed her and her sister’s lives forever.
They would have been much better off if she’d spent her time right where she was now.
Returning the smile the clerk gave her, she began wondering up and down the aisles. She wasn’t discriminating when it came to genres, but her feet seemed to be steadily pulling her toward the romance section.
Honestly, it was probably her favorite of all the different genres, but she wasn’t too sure about reading them right now. Not when she was still undecided about Cody, and everything going on there.
Her feet and hands didn’t seem to care though, because she ended up in front of a row of books with covers ranging from couples in love to bare chested men. And her hands were reaching for them even as she told herself to find the mystery and suspense section.
Before she knew it, she was reading the back of a contemporary romance, and when she was finished, she didn’t put it back. Instead, she held onto it as she searched the others.
“Hi, are you Olivia?”
Startled, she dropped the book in her hands, quickly turning to the woman who spoke. She was a little taller than Olivia, with light brown hair, and brown eyes that seemed familiar.
That, coupled with the woman knowing her name, had her shoulders tensed within seconds.
“Sorry, didn’t mean to startle you,” the other woman said, her smile open and guileless as she bent to retrieve the book Olivia dropped, handing it back to her. “And you’re probably wondering who the crazy lady who knows your name is. I’m Lindsey Aaron. I’m Cody’s sister. I asked him if Olivia was the blonde or the brunette who comes into town sometimes, and he said blonde, so I took a guess.”