Page 117 of Touch Me

Page List


Font:  

I received a letter from Lady Upworth today. It contained a sketch of Jared. He looks so much like a man. My heart aches to think that I might not recognize my own child should I see him face to face, but there is little chance of that. I look for him in Thea, hoping that he resembles her in her ability to love. She is so generous with her affection. I must teach her to protect her heart—she is so eager to open it to others. I worry there is little time left to do so.

November 23, 1809

Journal of Anna Selwyn, Countess of Langley

Irisa stared at her, then shifted her gaze to her parents, then back to Thea again. "But I'm sixteen."

Thea nodded. "Yes."

The silence in the room pressed in on her, and she turned to Drake, seeking some of his strength for the final confrontation.

He brushed her cheek with gentle fingers, his eyes full of warm emotion. "The truth frees us, Thea, no matter how difficult to utter."

She nodded and turned back to her family. "When Mama learned of Langley's final perfidy, she was devastated. I think Lady Upworth kept it from her as long as she could, but Uncle Ashby planned a trip to London. Mama intended to accompany him. She wanted to see Jared. Lady Upworth realized the trip would be a disaster and wrote Mama with the truth."

Jared's face lost all color, and the pink flesh of his scar stood out against the pale skin of his cheek.

He turned to Langley, accusation blazing in his eyes. "You married Jacqueline while my mother was still living."

When Langley did not respond, Jared turned back to Thea. She desperately wanted to comfort him. The betrayal and pain she saw in his eyes broke her heart.

"Mama canceled her trip to England, horrified at the scandal you would be forced to endure if the truth became known. It wasn't until later that she hit upon the idea of using Langley's behavior as a source of blackmail."

"She was going to blackmail him?" Jared asked.

"She was going to force him to let her see you."

"But she never came. I never met her."

Thea bit her lip and shook her head. "No. You never saw her. She contracted the fever two weeks before our ship was to sail. Although she recovered somewhat, she never again had enough strength to make the voyage. Eventually a second bout of the fever killed her."

Now that the entire truth had been told, exhaustion overwhelmed Thea. She wanted to go home with Drake and let him hold her until she fell asleep, safe in his arms. She also wanted to reach out and comfort her brother, but she did not have the right. They were practically strangers.

Langley stared at Jared, who looked at him as if he had turned into the devil himself.

Langley erupted into speech. "You must understand. I convinced myself that your mother truly was dead or she would have come back to me, to you. Then there was Jacqueline. She carried Irisa and I could not let my child go through life with the stigma of illegitimacy."

Jacqueline burst into noisy tears and ran from the room.

Irisa crossed her arms and tapped her foot against the carpeted floor. "Knowing Mama, she seduced you and trapped you into marriage when she got pregnant. Being a squire's daughter, she probably figured marriage to an earl was worth the risk." She sighed. "Poor Mama." Then Irisa's face cleared and a smile like the noonday sun came out. "This means I am a bastard."

Drake stiffened next to Thea.

"Irisa," Lady Upworth admonished, "you will not use such language."

Irisa apologized prettily and then turned to Thea. "I cannot thank you enough. His Grace will never marry the by-blow of an earl. I'm free." She laughed with delight. "I'm truly free."

Lady Upworth smiled. "There is that, my dear, there is that. Your mother won't be quite as relieved as you, I fear."

"Serves her right. Knowing Papa, he probably told her about Thea's mother and she still chose to marry him."

Jared asked, "Did you tell her?"

Langley looked up and said, "Yes. She was willing to risk it. She, too, believed Anna must be dead." He faced Irisa. "She wanted you to carry my name."

"I'll bet."

Thea smiled at Irisa's forthright approach to life. She suspected the affection that had started on mere acquaintance would grow deep between the two of them.


Tags: Lucy Monroe Historical