At that, Heath slowly shook his head. He hoped the sheriff didn’t see the regret in his eyes or hear it in his voice as he spoke. “Only a fool would have left a little girl alone with a predator like Tommy.”
* * *
Heath had been quiet and withdrawn that night. Julianne expected him to say something. About what happened with Sheriff Duke, about their kiss, about their argument or the divorce papers...but nothing happened. After Duke left, Heath had returned to unloading the truck. When that was done, he volunteered to drive into town and pick up a pizza.
While he was gone, the courier arrived with the package from her attorney. She flipped through it, giving it a cursory examination, and then dropped it onto the kitchen table. She wasn’t in the mood to deal with that today.
Heath’s mood hadn’t improved by the time he got back. He was seated on the couch, balancing his plate in his lap and eating almost mechanically. Julianne had opted to eat at the table, which gave her a decent view of both Heath and the television without crowding in his space.
There was one cold slice of pizza remaining when
Julianne finally got the nerve to speak. “Heath?”
He looked startled, as though she’d yanked him from the deep thoughts he was lost in. “Yes?”
“Are you going to tell me what happened?”
“You mean with Sheriff Duke?”
“I guess. Is that what’s bothering you?”
“Yes and no,” he replied, giving her an answer and not at the same time.
Julianne got up and walked over to the couch. She flopped down onto the opposite end. “It’s been a long week, Heath. I’m too tired to play games. What’s wrong?”
“Aside from the divorce papers sitting on the kitchen table?” Heath watched her for a moment before sighing heavily and shaking his head. “Sheriff Duke just asked some questions. Nothing to worry about. In fact, he told me Ken and Molly are no longer suspects.”
Julianne’s brow went up in surprise. “And that’s good, right?”
“Absolutely. The conversation was fine. It just made me think.” He paused. “It reminded me how big of a failure I am.”
It didn’t matter what happened between them recently. The minute he needed her support she would give it. “You? A failure? What are you talking about?” Every one of her brothers was at the top of their field with millions in their accounts. None were failures by a long shot. “You’re the CEO of your own successful advertising agency. You have a great apartment in Manhattan. You drive a Porsche! How is that a failure?”
A snort of derision passed his lips and he turned away to look at the television. “I’m good at convincing people to buy things they don’t need. Something to be proud of, right? But I fail at the important stuff. When it matters, it seems like nothing I say or do makes any difference.”
She didn’t like the tone of his voice. It was almost defeated. Broken. Very much unlike him and yet she knew somehow she was responsible. “Like what?”
“Protecting you. Protecting my parents. Ken. Saving our marriage...”
Julianne frowned and held her hands up. “Wait a minute. First, how is a nine-year-old boy supposed to save his parents in a car crash that he almost died in, too? Or keep Dad from having another heart attack?”
“It was my fault we were on that road. I pestered my father until he agreed to take us for ice cream.”
“Christ, Heath, that doesn’t make it your fault.”
“Maybe, but Dad’s heart attack was my fault. The second one at least. If I’d come clean to the cops about what happened with Tommy, they wouldn’t have come here questioning him.”
He was being completely irrational about this. Heath had been internalizing more things than she realized. “And what about me? How have you failed to protect me? I’m sitting right here, perfectly fine.”
“Talking with Sheriff Duke made me realize I should’ve seen it coming. With Tommy. I should’ve known he was going to come for you. And I left you alone. When I think about how bad it could’ve been...” His voice trailed off. “I never should’ve left you alone with him.”
“You didn’t leave me alone with him. I was doing my chores just like you were, and he found me. And you can’t see the future. I certainly don’t expect you to be able to anticipate the moves of a monster like he was. There’s no reason why you should have thought I would be anything but safe.”
He looked up at her at last, his brow furrowed with concern for things he couldn’t change now. “But I did know. I saw the way he was looking at you. I knew what he was thinking. My mistake was not realizing he was bold enough to make a move. What if you hadn’t been able to fight him off? What if he had raped you?” He shook his head, his thoughts too heavy with the possibilities to see Julianne stiffen in her seat. “I wish he had just run away. That would’ve been better for everyone.”
The pained expression was etched deeply into his forehead. He was so upset thinking Tommy had attacked her. She could never ever tell Heath how successful Tommy had been in getting what he’d wanted from her. He already carried too much of the blame on his own shoulders and without cause. Nothing that happened that day was his fault. “Not for the people he would have hurt later.”
Heath shrugged away what might have been. “You give me credit for protecting you, but I didn’t. If I had been smart, you wouldn’t have needed protecting.”