Violet couldn’t shake the anxiety that curled up in her belly. It was one thing to agree to Aidan coming over to her apartment so he could meet Knox; it was another to know he’d arrive any moment.
It had been two days since he’d walked into her office and turned her world upside down. Two days of memories circling in her mind at the most inopportune of times. Memories of the nights she’d spent with Aidan. How he’d held her, how he’d touched her. How he’d made her feel things, both physically and emotionally, that she’d never experienced before.
Losing her memory had at first been an annoyance. When Knox was born, it became an unfortunate complication. Now, knowing how much she’d missed out from her time with Aidan, it had become downright tragic.
How many months had she settled with Beau because she didn’t remember how amazing it was with Aidan? All that time, in the back
of her mind, she’d had a nagging worry. It wasn’t ever something she could put her finger on. Just a feeling that things weren’t right. That Beau was the wrong man for her, despite her having no reason to think otherwise.
Now she knew what her subconscious was trying to tell her all this time. Aidan was the man who had been missing from her life. From Knox’s life. One look into those sky-blue eyes and she’d nearly been knocked off her feet by the power of that realization. How could she have forgotten that hard, stubble-covered jaw, those skilled lips and those strong hands? Even now, she could easily bring to mind the feel of the coarse, auburn chest hair that spread across his firm pecs. The beat of his heart beneath her palm.
The days and nights they’d spent together had been about more than just sex. It was not at all what she expected, going home with a bartender after last call, but they had really connected. He’d been right about that. Knowing he was back in her life both thrilled and scared her. They’d come together on a level she’d never felt with a man before. It had been as though they’d always known each other after just a few short hours. Like her heart would break if she had to be away from him.
Violet craved that connection again after the tumultuous relationship with Beau ending and the months of emotional upheaval and loneliness that followed. And yet, it frightened her. No matter what happened between them, she hoped that Aidan would be in Knox’s life. That was as it should be. But the two of them? Could something that intense maintain itself? Would it eventually consume them?
Even if he was still interested in her—and she wasn’t entirely sure that he was—the attraction would eventually die out. They might be drawn to each other just because they’d had their chance taken away. If it ended poorly, she didn’t want it to impact his relationship with her son. And if she were honest with herself, she wasn’t sure if she could bear the intensity, the passion, and then the crippling grief.
In this situation, it might be better if she kept her distance. Polite. Cordial. Businesslike. After all, they were going to be working together on his grant in addition to raising a child together.
When all the drama had been hashed out, they’d finally sat down to discuss the proposal he’d come for. If the board accepted it, there would be several weeks of working side by side on the project. Her foundation didn’t just cut checks, they gave charities the tools they needed to learn how to keep themselves afloat in the future. It was an important key to the success of the Niarchos Foundation, and one that would keep her and Aidan working together no matter what happened between the two of them personally.
Violet heard footsteps coming down the stairs and turned in time to see Tara with Knox in her arms. He was wearing a white onesie with blue and green cartoon dinosaurs on it and little matching blue shorts. It was one of her favorite outfits, a gift from her friend Lucy, whose twins were due any day now. The nanny handed over the baby to his mother and she held him close, breathing in the unexpected scent of his baby soap.
“We had an unscheduled bath just now,” Tara said with a chuckle. “We tried a little applesauce with our breakfast and we got it everywhere. I’m not even sure how much got in our tummy.” She reached out and tickled at the infant’s belly, making him laugh and squirm in Violet’s arms. “He’s ready to go, though. All dressed and clean. Do you need me to stay and wrangle him while your company is here?”
Violet bit at her lip, but shook her head no. She’d told the live-in nanny that someone was coming over, but she hadn’t said who it was. Good news traveled fast and scandalous news traveled even faster. For now, she wanted to keep Aidan and his relationship with her to herself. “We’ll be okay. It’s your day off. Enjoy yourself.”
Tara smiled and grabbed her jacket from the closet. “Okay. You guys have fun. Text me if you need me.”
Tara disappeared down the hallway and Violet breathed a sigh of relief. At least they hadn’t run into each other as she left. Aidan was taller than most men, with a solid build that demanded the attention of every woman he passed. Tara would notice him for sure. And with that fiery red hair and those icy blue eyes, there was no way anyone would look at Aidan and not know exactly who he was.
That wasn’t to say that Violet didn’t trust Tara. She loved her. Any doubts or concerns she’d had about hiring a nanny had gone out the window when Tara interviewed for the position. Violet had basically been raised by nannies. Her parents were always on the move, touring the world, securing business deals back in Greece and a dozen other countries. Their private jet had more miles on it than most jumbo airliners. But that meant that Violet had grown up alone with no one but her hired caretakers.
They had all been lovely women. Not horribly strict or harsh, but they hadn’t been suitable replacements for her parents, either. When Knox came along, she knew she needed help doing this all on her own. She had a job and since it was a family business, she could take him in with her if she had to, but he really needed someone during the day. Tara had been the perfect someone. A helping hand, but not a substitute like her own had been.
But the situation with Aidan was a precarious one. She wasn’t ready to trust anyone with it yet, even Tara. She hadn’t even told her best friends from college—Emma, Lucy and Harper—about Aidan’s arrival. That would come in time, she was sure, but on her own terms, not because of out-of-control gossip.
Violet looked down at her son. He was chewing intently on his fist with slobber running down his arms. He might be clean, but her little monkey was never perfect for long. She walked over to the Pack ’n Play that was set up in her home office and grabbed a clean burp cloth to wipe away the drool. “We don’t want you drooling all over Daddy first thing, now, do we?”
Knox just grinned, shoving his fist back into his mouth the moment she released it. The books said he was teething and any moment now, the first few would start to break through. She anticipated quite a few long nights with a cranky baby in her future.
The phone rang. Violet eyed the number, knowing it should be the bellman calling about her guest. A “Mr. Murphy” was waiting for her in the lobby. She told them to send him up and tried to prepare herself for his arrival.
It seemed to take ten minutes for the elevator to crawl the five stories to her apartment. She wasn’t in the penthouse, but she was fairly high up in the building with her apartment taking up the west side of the fifth and sixth floors. It gave her nice treetop views of Park Avenue. She’d had the apartment—a graduation present from her parents—since she’d graduated from Yale and moved back to Manhattan. It almost made up for the fact that they hadn’t been able to attend her commencement in New Haven. They’d been stuck in Istanbul. She wasn’t surprised. That had been their MO her whole life—lavish gifts in exchange for the emotional and physical distance between them.
Soon, though, Violet wanted to make a change. The apartment was spacious when Violet was alone, but a little too small for her, Knox and Tara. Baby things seemed to fill every corner. She wanted more room and to be closer to a park where Knox could run around. Central Park was a little too chaotic for her to keep up with him there. She got a feeling that this little monkey would be on the move the minute he learned to walk.
The doorbell rang. Violet took a deep breath to prepare herself. It should be easy. Today wasn’t about her. It was about Aidan and his son. But that didn’t mean it wouldn’t be a heart-wrenching moment for everyone involved.
Violet walked to the front door and opened it, stepping back far enough to allow Aidan a full view of her standing there with Knox in her arms. “Hello, Aidan. Come in.”
She might as well not have spoken because the instant his eyes connected to his son, the whole world faded away for a moment. He didn’t move. He didn’t even appear to breathe. Aidan was frozen to the spot as he studied his child for the first time.
Knox, however, was oblivious to their visitor. He’d become fascinated with the scalloped edge of Violet’s collar, pinching it between his clumsy, chubby fingers.
She turned a bit so Aidan had a better view, then tugged Knox’s hand from her shirt. “Lennox, we have a visitor. Can you say hi?” He couldn’t, of course, but Aidan had finally caught his attention. Knox’s big eyes locked in on him and he grinned wide.
“It’s amazing how much you two look alike,” Violet chattered nervously in the silence. “I bet in your baby pictures you couldn’t tell you two apart.”