“Probably not,” Marcus said. “But my stepfather is a recovering alcoholic. I appreciate the work you’re trying to do, and if I can help you look good doing it, I will.”
Seven
“Where are you two headed?”
The following day, Aidan was leaving his building with Knox in his stroller when he ran into Violet coming in. “Hey. I didn’t expect you to be off so early today.”
“Well, I decided I could stop and take some work home or stay in the office and work until ten. I opted to leave for my own sanity. Are you guys headed out with Tara?”
Aidan laughed. “No, I gave Tara the afternoon off. She mentioned needing to run a few errands. Since I’m off today, I thought I’d take Knox to the park so Tara could do what she needed without hauling the baby everywhere with her.”
Violet stiffened and straightened the laptop bag on her shoulder. He could tell that she didn’t like the idea of him having the baby on his own, despite how often he’d interacted with Knox while they’d shared his apartment. “Since you’re home early, would you like to join us?” he offered to defuse the tension.
“A trip to the park would be nice,” she said, obviously trying not to act like she was afraid of him handling their infant without help. “Can you give me a minute to run upstairs and change?”
“Absolutely. We’ll be right here.”
Violet went upstairs and returned about ten minutes later, dressed for the park. She’d pulled her dark hair up into a ponytail and put on a pair of tight jeans and a little T-shirt that highlighted her curves. It was casual and clingy, and he enjoyed the look far more than any of the stuffy outfits she seemed to wear at work each day.
They walked a few blocks to the nearest park in a relatively comfortable silence. Once they arrived, they continued around the shady path circling the playground area. Knox was still far too young to play at the park, but Aidan liked the idea of getting him out of the apartment and into what little nature Manhattan provided.
Knox looked up at the canopy of trees and sky overhead and took everything in with wide eyes. He thoughtfully sucked on his Iron Man pacifier, content with his smooth ride in the stroller.
Aidan smiled down at his son, then looked out at the other people around the park. “Nothing but nannies,” he pointed out with an irritated edge to his voice.
Violet just shrugged off his observation. “It’s the middle of a weekday. Most people are at work and that means a nanny has to take them, or they’d be in school or day care.”
Aidan understood the practicality of it, but that didn’t mean he liked it. “I get it. There aren’t many stay-at-home moms these days. And Tara has won me over, no question. I just worry that these kids are growing up without the kind of parental attention and affection they need to be well-rounded and emotionally healthy adults.”
Violet turned to him with a curious cock of her head. “Do you find me to be well-rounded and emotionally healthy?”
Despite the alarm bells going off in his head, he knew he had to answer honestly if he was ever going to convince Violet to raise their son any differently. “Not really. You and your parents definitely have issues. I don’t know you well enough to see how that flows into your daily life, but I’ve already seen evidence of it in our relationship.”
Violet stopped walking and planted her hands on her hips. “Like what?”
“Like your drive for perfection in yourself and in others. Your constant unfounded worry that you’re not going to make the right decision. I mean, I can tell you that you’re the closest thing to perfection I’ve ever encountered and you won’t believe me. You’ll only hear your parents’ criticisms. I don’t understand why their opinion is so important.”
Violet sighed and her gaze shifted to a far-off corner of the park. “Their opinion is important because I was always vying for their attention as a child. You’re right, I was with nannies over ninety-five percent of my childhood. My parents were always working or traveling or doing any number of things that took them far away from me. I had to be the best at everything I did just so they would take notice of me, but it never seemed like enough for them. I was valedictorian in high school, I went to the college they wanted, I got the degree they wanted, I dated the man they wanted...they still weren’t happy. Until the day I walked into Murphy’s Pub, I was living a life of their choosing, not mine.”
Aidan didn’t understand Violet’s parents at all and he didn’t look forward to the day he’d have to interact with them. They might be Knox’s grandparents, but he certainly wasn’t going to let them belittle and micromanage his son the way they did with her. “They should be thrilled to have a daughter like you, no matter who you date or what you do.”
Violet turned back to him and studied his face for a moment as though she didn’t believe his words. He couldn’t understand how she could question them.
“Despite what you might think, I don’t want to raise Knox the way I was raised. Yes, I have a nanny to help me while he’s small, but I have no intention of ever handing my child over while I go globetrotting. I will be there for every day of my son’s life. And I want you to be there, too.”
Her expression was gravely serious as she looked in his eyes. Up until this point, Aidan wasn’t entirely sure that was how she felt. She seemed agreeable enough to including him in Knox’s life, but it had only been a couple weeks. They’d just gotten back the positive paternity test results they were both anticipating, and looked over a draft custody arrangement with her attorney. Would she feel the same way months or years from now? When her parents and the rest of Manhattan society found out Knox’s father was a poor nobody?
“I mean it,” she continued. “Regardless of what happens between the two of us, I want you to be as big of a part of your son’s life as you can. Knox deserves that. And you do, too.”
Violet reached out and covered his hand with her own as it gripped the stroller handle. Just like at the office, her touch was warm and comforting, reminding him how long it had been since someone had touched him so tenderly. Perhaps since his mom died. His gaze dropped uncomfortably to her hand as he tried not to get overly emotional in the public moment they were sharing.
“Thank you,” he said at last. “My father was never around, either. He was always at the bar or sleeping off a bender. I’m not sure whether he opened the bar because he was an alcoholic or if he became an alcoholic because he owned a bar, but the result was the same. He was wasted or hungover most of the time. He never did any of the things a dad is supposed to do with his son. He never even came to one of my ball games in high school. My mom did her best to make up for it, but there was only so much she could do.”
“I can’t imagine you ever being that kind of father, Aidan. You?
??ve known your son for such a short time and yet you adore him. Anyone can see that. You’re not going to cast him aside like your father did to you.”
“Did you know that’s why I don’t drink?”