And yet the way that Jade had looked at him when he said he was here to see her made him realize she had no clue how beautiful she truly was, or how he could still be attracted to her after all this time. That was a damned shame. What had happened to her since the last time he saw her that she could ever doubt it? What had her suitable, respectable husband done to break Jade’s spirit?
“You took the case just to see me?” she asked in obvious confusion and doubt. Jade seemed baffled by the whole situation. In fairness, he’d had several days to prepare to see her again, and she’d been thrown a curveball without warning.
“Let me rephrase that.” He backtracked, realizing the implications of his words. “I wanted to make sure your case was handled by the best guy at my company, and that means by me.”
Harley didn’t want Jade to think he’d come here just to profess his undying love and pick up where they’d left off. He hadn’t. He’d gotten over her a long time ago, whether he’d wanted to or not. Going through navy boot camp was enough to push anything other than survival out of his mind. The quiet moments were another matter. Those were harder to get through. That’s probably why he’d opted to spend most of his service overseas in the thick of things.
He couldn’t help but notice there was a slight flicker of disappointment in her eyes before she smiled and nodded. The attraction seemed to be mutual, even if fleeting. She still seemed conflicted by her attraction to him. “Of course. I appreciate your help with all of this.”
There was something in her tone that struck Harley as disingenuous. Did she not want him here, or was it about why he was here? He wasn’t sure, but since he wasn’t going anywhere, he decided to do what he could to quell her concerns. “The hospital hired me, but I want to assure you that I’ll be an impartial third party as I investigate what happened. I’m being paid to find the truth, whether that reflects favorably on the hospital or not.”
Jade let out a ragged breath and the tension seemed to ease from her shoulders. “I’m relieved to hear you say that. There’s no way I could afford to hire my own investigators. And any attorneys I might hire would be more interested in suing the pants off the hospital to get a cut for themselves. I just want to find out the truth.”
Harley was surprised. He looked around the house, which was okay, but nothing special. The furniture was worn, and he’d noticed when he pulled up that her car was an older model. Financial security had certainly seemed to be a priority when she’d left him for the more successful Lance, and yet her ex didn’t seem to be contributing much to her way of life now. As a young divorcée, wouldn’t some kind of settlement from the hospital be important to her? “You’re not interested in suing the hospital?”
Jade shrugged. “If they’re at fault, I wouldn’t turn it down. I can put it toward buying a home or stick it in my retirement account. But what I’m really after...” S
he hesitated and shook her head. “The truth is that the results of my DNA tests just confirmed what I’ve always felt deep down inside.”
Harley frowned. “And what’s that?”
“That I’ve never belonged.” Her dark gaze fixed on him and he felt her raw emotions like a vise squeezing his chest. “I’ve always felt like a puzzle piece that got tossed into the wrong box. I was never going to fit in and now I know why. So, I want to know where I do come from.”
“What about Arthur and Carolyn?” Her folks hadn’t been particularly fond of Harley—he wasn’t the kind of boy any parents wanted dating their teenage daughter—but they’d always seemed like good people. Jade loved them dearly and he’d never suspected that they treated her like anything other than their little princess.
“The parents that raised me will always be my parents, but I want to know who my biological family really is. Where I come from. What my life should’ve been like, so that something about it can start to make sense.”
He didn’t know what to say to that. Harley had always thought that Jade had her life together. She was smart and ambitious. She made the most of her every opportunity. The framed certificate on the wall declared that she had her PhD in pharmacology. He’d always thought she was someone who knew who she was and what she wanted. To hear otherwise was unsettling. It made him want to question everything he felt was a fact. It also made him desperately want to uncover the truth for her so she could have some closure.
“Have you always felt so lost, Jade?”
She avoided his gaze for a moment, perhaps knowing instinctively that she couldn’t lie to him. He’d spent many years in the navy learning interrogation techniques. Even if she could’ve lied to him back in high school, she couldn’t now. He’d know the truth.
“Not when I was with you,” she said at last. “That was probably the only time things felt right in my life.”
Harley knew exactly what she meant. He’d spent most of the past decade in a tailspin, trying to right his course after their breakup. He’d lost his True North when Jade left him for Lance, and he really hadn’t recovered. Sure, he’d been successful. He’d moved on with his life. But somehow he knew that there was a hole in his world where Jade belonged. He had yet to find someone or something else to fill it. None of the women he’d dated—and he used that term loosely—fit the bill. Sex was fine, but he never wanted more with any of them.
He’d never dreamed that Jade would feel lost, too.
“I will find out the truth. I intend to find out what happened to you and why. I’ll find your family.”
On reflex, he reached out and took her hand. It felt small and delicate in his large, rough ones, rousing a protective instinct he wasn’t expecting. He’d come here today thinking he would satisfy his curiosity, scratch his itch to work in the field again and perhaps finally be able to move on where Jade was concerned. As she clutched him tightly, he felt the heat of awareness travel up his arm, warming his chest. He remembered this feeling. A feeling that happened only when he touched her.
This was all wrong. His plan had started unraveling the moment she opened the door. This was the exact opposite of what he wanted to happen. He couldn’t be attracted to Jade and not end up in the same mess as last time.
Or could he? Maybe he could compartmentalize the attraction and keep it separate from any emotional attachment. It wasn’t like they were kids any longer. He’d had plenty of women in his bed without strings, and it had worked fine. If Jade was open to the idea of indulging for old time’s sake, it might be exactly what he needed to close the book on the two of them for good. It was a risky proposition—one she might be completely uninterested in—but he had to find a way to get through the next week or two with her constantly on his mind.
“Thank you,” she whispered softly.
“I promise you that, and I’m a man of my word.” Harley’s attention was drawn away from her by a ring tone coming from the kitchen.
“That’s my phone. Excuse me one second.” Jade got up and left the room, answering the phone after a moment.
Anxious, Harley got up from his seat. He paced around the living room to burn off some of the excess energy running through his veins. Touching her, even just that little bit, had set off a chain reaction in his nervous system. He was suddenly on edge, ready to leap out at the enemy or jump from a plane. There would be no adrenaline payoff in this situation, however. At least not right now or he’d frighten her off. He needed to keep his hands to himself and get through this interview.
He turned and focused on a row of photographs that lined the fireplace mantel. The biggest was a portrait of her and Lance on their wedding day. It made Harley’s chest ache to realize how beautiful she’d looked that day. The dress and flowers didn’t matter to him; he focused in on her face. She was beaming with excitement, so happy for the future she was going to have with Lance. A future he didn’t think she got.
Would things have been different if she had married him instead?