Grant came up beside her and put a comforting arm across her shoulder, giving her a moment to absorb everything that had just happened. “Pepper?” he said at last.
She uncovered her face and looked at him. “Yeah?”
“What was all that about?”
She sighed and shook her head. “I can’t tell yo—”
“Stop,” he said, not letting her finish. “Don’t tell me it’s a secret and you can’t tell me. And don’t bother insisting it’s nothing because it’s not nothing. That fight just now sure as hell was about something. And it’s more than just some old family rivalry nonsense. What is going on? Tell me.”
“I . . .” she started, and then stopped.
Her dark eyes looked at his, pleading for mercy. She wanted him to drop this, but he just couldn’t. This was too important. This was serious, and she was keeping it from him. They couldn’t go on like this, pretending everything was okay while she was burdened with whatever
this was.
“Trust me when I tell you that this kind of thing will slowly eat you up from the inside out. For twelve years, I carried around that secret about my father. And I never told anyone. No one. But I told you. You’re important to me, and sharing that with you was a big step. And it made me feel better. Getting that off my chest was like lifting a cinder block off my sternum. Let me do that for you.”
Pepper shook her head and crossed her arms over her chest. “You only told me that story because you were on medication.”
They both knew that wasn’t true. The drugs may have made telling the story easier, but he didn’t tell a secret he hadn’t wanted to share. “I told you because I wanted to tell you. I wanted someone else to understand what I was going through. And why honesty is so important to me.”
“That’s different, Grant.”
“How? How is it different?” he pressed.
“Because that was your secret to tell. Whether or not I wanted to tell you about this, I can’t. It’s not my secret. It’s not going to hurt me if the truth got out. But it would hurt other people. Hell, it might even hurt you. Don’t ask me to do that.”
How could that be possible? The truth never hurt as much as a lie in the end. “I know it seems like you can’t talk about it, but you have to, Pepper. How can we be together if we’re keeping secrets from each other?” Grant knew that it was now or never. He needed to push her to tell him. “We can’t be in a relationship if we can’t be honest with each other.” Surely that ultimatum would weaken her resolve.
Pepper’s gaze dropped to the sidewalk. All the fight seemed to have drained out of her, leaving her completely exhausted. When she looked back up at him, her eyes were lined with weariness and glassy with tears. “If that’s the way you feel, Grant, I guess we can’t.”
He narrowed his gaze at her. “What do you mean? That we can’t keep secrets?”
“No, that we can’t be in a relationship.” She shook her head and took a few steps back from him. “It was fun, Grant. I’m glad I finally gave in, but it’s causing too much drama in my life to let it continue. See you around.”
Pepper turned and started down the sidewalk. Every step she took made the gaping hole in his chest feel larger and larger. And yet, his feet were bogged down in cement. He couldn’t make himself chase after her.
His bluff had just blown up in his face. He pushed too hard and she went in a direction he never expected. He thought they had something more important than that, but he must’ve been wrong. If she would rather walk away from their relationship than tell him the truth, she wasn’t the woman he thought she was. And if that was the case, he was tired of pursuing her. He’d been chasing Pepper since he was fourteen years old and it was painfully apparent that she wasn’t interested in being caught. This was the second time she’d dropped him as if what they had meant nothing, so it must be true.
Grant had never felt this way about a woman before, so what did he know? Maybe all these feelings were just side effects of his medication mixed with heartburn from last night’s takeout.
He’d go by the drugstore to get some antacids on the way home. And from now on, if he wanted companionship and someone to wake up to every morning, he could get a dog. They didn’t lie or keep secrets. They were always happy to see you and weren’t conflicted about that fact. Yes, from now on, the warm body beside him in bed was going to have a wet nose and a wagging tail.
He doubted anyone else would be filling that vacant space for a very long time.
Chapter 19
One appointment left in the day and then Pepper could go home. It had been a miserable few days since the blowup with Grant. Sitting alone in her house each night, she found herself looking around at all the things Grant had left his mark on—the walls he helped paint, the pictures he helped hang, the rug they picked out together . . . There were pieces of him everywhere she looked. The last few nights, she’d even slept in the living room to avoid the memories they’d made in her new bedroom. She wondered how long it would take before she could enjoy her house and not think about Grant. In the meantime, she went home each night and lost herself in television, chocolate, and wine until she fell asleep on the couch.
Glancing over at her appointment book, she groaned. This wouldn’t be an easy session. How could she have forgotten that her mother was coming in to have her hair done today? She had a standing appointment every two months for Pepper to touch up her roots, trim her ends, and give her a conditioning treatment to keep her curly hair from getting too frizzy. Of course, a lot had happened in the last two months since they booked this appointment.
She had managed to avoid her mother lately. After the awkward family dinner where Logan found out the truth, Pepper had tried to keep her distance. Doubly so after she broke up with Grant and Logan stopped talking to her. She didn’t need her mother being smug about it, or even trying to comfort her. Both would just make her angry.
The bell on the door chimed and when Pepper looked up, she saw her mother standing cautiously in the doorway. Her dark eyes were lined and wary as she pushed her sunglasses up on top of her head. It looked like they were both dreading this appointment today.
Pepper pasted on a smile and called her mother back to the chair. The sooner they started, the sooner they’d finish. “Hi, Mom.”
Kate stowed her purse and settled into the chair. “Hey, baby.”