My arms curl securely around her as I hold her to my chest. We fall back into a comfortable silence as she listens to the sound of my heart beating. My hand runs up and down her back and all too soon, her breathing slows as she falls into a deep sleep.
I remain right where I am, not for one second wanting to leave. She told me that she wanted me to stay until she fell asleep and that’s exactly what I should do. Only, I can’t find it within myself to get up and leave.
Staying here is an invasion of her privacy and trust. We’ve each said what needs to be said and now I should be giving her space until she can work out what her next step is going to be.
But then…I’ve never really cared for what I should do. I’m more of a grab hold with two hands and hold on while things get fucking wild kind of guy.
I lay here until the moon has shifted out of sight through the window before deciding it’s time. She’s not one of those girls who would just giggle and tell me exactly what I want to hear when it comes to waking up and finding that I did exactly what I said that I wouldn’t do, she’s the kind who will fight me tooth and nail just to remind me that I fucked up and went back on my word…again.
After pressing a soft kiss to Tully’s head, I lift her off me and place her down on her pillow. I pull the blanket right up around her to make sure she keeps warm and has the best possible sleep.
I slip out of her bed with a weight settling into my gut. I don’t want to leave, but it’s what she needs. I get my shoes back on and take myself out of her room after double checking that she’s ok and closing her door.
I come into the living room and find the bag of take out staring back at me. I grab hold of it and detour through the kitchen to throw it out before heading for the door. Only when I grab hold of it, someone stands on the opposite side, knocking.
My brows furrow. Who the fuck would be coming to her place now?
Already with the door handle beneath my fingers, I twist it and pull the door wide to find Spencer standing before me with a box of crap in his hands.
“The fuck is this?” I demand as he gapes at me for a moment too long, clearly not having expected to see me standing before him. “What do you think you’re doing showing up at her apartment with a box of her old shit this late at night? Don’t you think you’ve already done enough damage?” I grab Tully’s leather jacket that sits at the top of the box. “In what world is this a good idea?”
“Excuse me?” Spencer grunts, putting the box down and tearing the leather jacket from between my fingers as he attempts to peer around me into Tully’s apartment. “I’m just returning her shit as any decent person would do. What the fuck are you doing here? Sneaking out after taking advantage of her? You know, it took me four fucking years to help her out of the grave you dug for her and now you’re hanging around again. What exactly are you trying to achieve?”
“Really?” I laugh. “You think you accomplished something wasting three years being with her? Tell me how did it feel knowing your girlfriend was in love with me? That every time you got down on one knee, that she was wishing it was me, that every time you touched her, she was imagining me, that every time she uttered the words ‘I love you’ that it was my face in her mind.”
“Fuck you. What the hell would you know? You haven’t been around.”
“One look at her face and I knew exactly what’s been going on over the last four years. You see, unlike you, I can read her like a fucking book. Every tiny little thing she does tells me a story. The way she does her hair. If it’s up; she can’t be fucked. If it’s down, she’s feeling good about herself. If she braids it; she means fucking business. The same goes for if she wears makeup. The way she holds her body. Which fucking smile she gives. Every move she makes, I read. I bet you couldn’t say the same thing, and you know why?”
He raises a pissed off brow and I step into him. “Because you’ve done nothing but think about yourself. You’re right. I dug a fucking grave and left her in it, but instead of helping her out, you threw her down a few things to keep her comfortable. You never once pulled her out of it, because you were fucking scared that if you did, she’d realize that you’re not the one that she ever wanted.”