I rub my thumbs over her knuckles. “I thought about coming and visiting you every fucking day, but I was too ashamed with what I’d done and by the time I realized that I was wrong, I was already deployed. I failed you, mom.”
“No, Samuel. I failed you. You did the right thing going to the police. Despite your father’s involvement, I still did the crime and I needed to be punished for that.”
“But you didn’t deserve to be punished. He made you. He gave you no other choice.”
She squeezes my hand. “I wasn’t around to teach you any life lessons, but if I can teach you just one thing, then know this; in life, there’s always another choice. Anton backed me into a corner and where it came to protecting you, I would have done anything. I chose to agree to his terms when I could have found help. I could have spoken to the police. I could have run. There are hundreds of choices I could have made, but I was terrified and chose the easy way out. I ran that prostitution ring and I broke the law. I deserved to be in here, and while it was the hardest thing I’ve ever been through, it was also a blessing because it freed me from his hold. But don’t you think for even one second that I didn’t think about what that meant for you. Every damn day I panicked over what kind of hell he was putting you through and not a moment went by that I didn’t wonder if I’d lost you to that life.”
My eyes drop to the table as a whisper comes slipping from between my lips. “There was a moment where I think you did.”
Mom slowly nods her head. “I know, but you’re unbelievably strong. You’re my son and if I was able to fight to get out of there and had the strength to give up my child, then I knew that you’d be able to do anything you put your mind to. You just needed to want it bad enough.”
“I did.”
“I knew you would,” she smiles proudly. “When Henley showed up here that very first time and told me how you’d left for the Military, I knew you were fighting and I knew that it’d be hard, but you’d get yourself to exactly where you needed to be and seeing as though you’re sitting here right in front of me, something tells me that you made it. You’ve let go of all the horrors of your past and now you’re ready to build yourself a life.”
“I am.”
“With Tully?”
A smile cuts across my face and mom smiles right back. “I’ve missed that smile,” she tells me. “No matter what kind of horrors your father put you through, there’s still that mischievous little boy hiding inside of you.”
“I’ve really missed you, mom.”
“We have a lot of missed time to make up for.”
“And we will. As soon as you get out, I promise you, I’ll make it right. I’m going to be the son you’ve always deserved.”
“You already are. You and Henley, you’re both everything to me and I’m so grateful to have you both back in my life.”
I release her hands and grab the bundle of papers sitting beside me. “I actually wanted to talk to you about you getting out.”
“Oh?” she questions, furrowing her brows.
“Yeah, I, uh…I wanted to sign the house back into your name.”
“What?” she gasps, flicking her eyes down to the papers before bringing them back to mine. I slide the papers across the table and she hesitantly takes them before scanning over them. “No. I won’t allow you to do this. That is your home and it has been for the past twenty years.”
“No. To me it was never a home, just a house to keep me warm at night. It’s always reminded me of the bad times, especially seeing your empty bedroom at the end of the hall. Henley told me just how much you loved that place and when I got back from deployment and saw how Tully had fixed it up and made it look like a home again, I knew that’s where you belonged. I’ve always felt more peace with Tully. Wherever she is, is where I call home. I know Anton bullied you into signing it to me and now I want to give it back.”
Mom’s eyes grow watery before she looks up from the papers. “Are you sure about this? There’s no money owing on the property. Having this home sets you up with a future where you will never have to struggle.”
“I don’t struggle. I’ve made plenty of money over the years from my father and I have plenty of savings from the Military. You don’t need to worry about that. I want you to have it and I want you to have somewhere to call home when you get out. Though,” I add with a smile cutting across my face, “I might have to share with you until I can find a place of my own.”