“Anything,” I tell him, searching out his hands so I can lace my fingers through his.
“I need you not to see him. I can’t have him in your life.”
My brows dip down as I pull back to look at him. “What? I…I can’t do that.”
“Please, babe. Look what happened to you last night. I can’t have you breaking down like this every time he’s near. You’ll never move on like that.”
I continue staring at him, wondering what’s possibly going through his head. “Rivers is my family,” I remind him on a whisper. “I can’t just not see him. I need to…”
“Need to what? Make sure he’s doing alright? Sit by his side when he’s having a shit time? You’ve already put Anton away and made sure he had a home to come back to. Haven’t you already done enough?”
I shake my head. “It’s not like that.”
“Then what’s it like?” he snaps at me, making me lean back on his lap. “I’m having a real fucking tough time trying to work it out. You tell me that you don’t love him anymore, you tell me you want to make it work between us, you tell me that it’s over with him, yet the second you see him you turn into a mess, and now this?”
“What’s that supposed to mean? Do you not trust me when I tell you that I want to be with you? He hurt me, Spence. I don’t want to be with him. I can’t risk it.”
“But you still love him.”
“I don’t.”
“And I don’t fucking believe you.”
He pushes me off his lap and gets up from the couch before storming to the door, leaving me gaping behind him. “Spencer, don’t go.”
He stops by the door and lets out a heavy breath as he turns to look back at me. “Are you going to stop seeing him or not?”
I stare at him as I think it over. Spencer is right, for my own health and wellbeing, I should probably be avoiding spending any time with the guy, but something tells me that Spencer’s request comes from a place of jealousy rather than wanting to look out for me. If this was any other guy, I’d probably be able to deal with it, but it’s not. It’s Rivers and the thought of not seeing him kills me. I only just got him back. How could I possibly lose that again?
No matter what happened in our past, Rivers is my family. He may not be blood, but he’s so much more. He’s my pack. He’s the person I gave my heart to when I was eleven and he’s the one who still holds it in his hands, refusing to ever give it back.
I shake my head as I look up at Spencer. “I’m sorry,” I whisper across the room. “I can’t do that.”
“Right,” he says, looking at me with regret. “Then I can’t do this.”
With that, he walks out the door, leaving me gasping for breath.
Chapter 6
Rivers
Hot water cascades down over my back as I stand in the shower. All I’ve been able to think about over the past two days is that wedding. The way she looked, the way she felt, the way she cried. It’s always Tully and forever will be. Hell, I haven’t even spared a thought for the fact that my sister and best friend just got married.
I spent all of yesterday pacing around my home, convincing myself not to go and find her. I woke up way too early and worked out, just trying to give myself a reason to stay put. A visit from me is really not what she needs right now.
After how much she drank at the wedding, she would have spent the majority of the day in bed and then I’d assume that she spent what was left of her day trying to work things out with Spencer. They didn’t exactly end things that night on a good note, and I’d dare say that I might have had a little something to do with that.
I feel for the guy. Kind of. I stand by my claim that he’s a douche. At least he was in high school and he certainly hasn’t done anything to prove otherwise, but having a woman like Tully hating on you is not easy, especially when your heart is caught up in it. So yeah, I feel for him…just a bit
I spent what was left of my day catching up with Noah and Henley, that was until Henley tugged on Noah’s arm and told him that they had dinner plans. She never clarified what dinner plans they had, but something tells me they were heading to see Tully and make sure she was alright.
Noah and Henley will be heading out for their honeymoon this morning. In fact, I wouldn’t be surprised if they’re already at the airport waiting to board their flight to Italy. I don’t doubt that they’ve been looking forward to this trip, but when they were here talking about it yesterday, they couldn’t seem less interested.