“Come on, babe,” Spencer groans in frustration. “That was six months ago and you’ve only managed to pack one box, and now that box has dust on it. You and I both know that you only agreed to move in with me because you felt bad for rejecting my third proposal.”
“Spencer,” she sighs as the emotional turmoil of the day gets too much. “I just…I don’t…I’m not ready.”
“Yeah…you’re never fucking ready.” I go to step in as that was a low fucking blow and after the day she’s had, that’s the last thing she needs, but his next question has me stopping and anxiously waiting. “You still love him, don’t you? After everything that he’s put you through, he’s still the one you want.”
“This again? Really, Spence? Are you that insecure that you need me to tell you over and over?” She steps into him, grasping his forearms as she looks up at him. “I love you and you know that.”
Well, well, well. It seems we have a liar on our hands.
I’ve been on the receiving end of one of her ‘I love you’s’ and that’s certainly not the way she looks at a man she loves. That was forced. That was something you say out of habit to make a situation go away. That was Tully desperately trying to cling onto the guy who’s been by her side since the day I went away.
This woman standing before me isn’t the one that I knew. This one holds back her feelings and hides her truths. She’s not open and forcing her thoughts, hopes, and dreams on him. The Tully I knew was always wanting to talk ‘feelings,’ always wanting me to be open, and above anything else, she loved hard. She wasn’t fake with me. Never fake.
This woman before me is the picture of someone who’s already given up. She might love him, but it’s not in the all-consuming way it was with me. She has everyone fooled, even Spencer, and that line of ‘I’m not ready’ is absolute bullshit. Tully has no intention of ever being ready with him because she already knows what it’s like to feel a love so strong that you can hardly breathe. She had that with me and she’s not the kind of girl to settle for less.
Any other time, I’d be thrilled to be overhearing this conversation. Watching her walk down the aisle and realizing that she was with someone else was shattering, but I should have expected it. She’s fucking beautiful and everyone can see it. But discovering that she’s been settling for less and suffering through a relationship just to have a companion by her side breaks my heart. Who knows, maybe she thrives on feeling his love in return. After all, I starved her of that and it’s damn clear that Spencer has been giving it to her in spades.
I kind of feel sorry for the bastard. It wouldn’t have been easy trying to fill my shoes and failing at every turn. She would have constantly been comparing him to me, and now that I’m here…well, I couldn’t imagine being in his position. He’d be terrified of losing her.
Spencer breaks free from her hold on his forearms and steps back. “Don’t you ever notice how you never actually answer the question? Maybe I wouldn’t be so insecure about it if you were straight up with me for once,” he tells her. “So, what is it, Tully? Do you love him or not?”
Tully shakes her head and I don’t doubt there are tears in her eyes that makes me want to knock him the fuck out. “Don’t do this,” she begs. “You’re going to ruin us.”
“Answer the question, Tully.”
She lets out a barely audible sigh and I find myself inching closer while trying to remember to stay hidden in the shadows. “No,” she finally whispers. “I don’t.”
Spencer nods slowly, watching her through narrowed eyes as disappointment spreads across his face. He backs up another few steps. “I never took you for a liar, Tully.” And with that, he walks away, leaving my girl shivering in the cold and dropping down onto the bench with her head buried in her hands.
Chapter 4
Rivers
Seeing Tully like this tears me apart and I have no option but to step in. I can’t have her feeling like this. I need to help her forget and something tells me that today, there’s only one way to do it.
I duck back inside the party and head straight for the bar, leaning against it as I wait for the bartender to finish up his previous order. He looks to me with a nod. “What can I get you?”
“Bottle of Vodka, thanks.” The bartender gets to work and reaches for a shot glass and I shake my head. “Nah, man. I’m going to need the whole bottle.”