His face falls as he studies me looking sick but mostly panicked. “How do you know that name?”
“Did you know?” I repeat, raising my voice and not liking the way this is going.
Rivers lets out a sigh and shakes his head. “No. That’s not true,” he says, searching my eyes in confusion. “It’s not true.”
“You really don’t know, do you?”
“You’re lying,” he accuses, stepping back from me, clearly not wanting to believe what’s coming out of my mouth. “I would have known if my mother had another kid. It’s not just something you don’t know.”
“How could you?” I question. “You were only a baby yourself. You’re only a year older than me. She gave me away when I was a few days old. As a baby, you wouldn’t have had any idea that your mom was pregnant.”
“I don’t understand what the fuck is going on right now.”
I let out a sigh and indicate to the steps of the front porch. “Come on,” I tell him, turning and heading for the steps. “You and I have a lot to talk about.”
“Clearly,” he grunts, following behind me, but there’s a clear hesitation in the way he walks. Though maybe it just a limp from taking one too many of Noah’s hits. “Then maybe you can explain to me how the fuck you let my girl get caught up with a guy like Spencer.”
“Hey,” I demand, dropping down on the bottom step. “That shit is on you, not me. Besides, the guy makes her smile and after the way you left her, that’s all I could ask for.”
“It was bad, wasn’t it?”
“You tore her to pieces,” I tell him. “She was absolutely shattered. It was so much worse than the time you pushed her away after sleeping with her. Honestly, I’d be surprised if she ever gave you the time of day again. You have a lot to make up for if you want her in your life.”
“But that’s why I left,” he says with a pained groan. “Tully needs to get away from me. She needs a chance to move on.”
“You realize you’re perfect for her, right? Your mother doesn’t define who you are. You’re better than that.”
“You really think she’s your mom too?” he questions.
“No, I know,” I tell him. “Right after you left, my dad told me the truth. I could have really used having you around to help me piece it together, but without you here, I had no choice but to go and see her. It’s true, Rivers. You’re my half-brother.”
He sits in silence, staring at the pavement before him. “You went to see her?”
“Yeah.”
“You’re sure?” he finally questions. “You’re her kid?”
“One hundred percent sure,” I tell him. “The only thing I haven’t been able to work out is how you didn’t know. I look just like her, like spitting image, Rivers. How could you not see the similarities? The resemblance?”
At that, he turns to look at me, really studying my face and taking it in. The curves of my jaw, the shape of my nose, my forehead. He shakes his head, more confused than before. “I…I don’t know. I haven’t seen her in over six years and back then she died her hair dark brown and would wear all that black eye makeup. She was too skinny and never around. She was a disgrace and I hated her. I never took notice of the details of her face because she never allowed me close enough and it got to a stage where I didn’t want to be close. I spoke maybe five words to her in the two years before she went away.”
I shake my head, my mind reeling with what he’s telling me. “I can’t begin to understand what your upbringing must have been like.”
“I guess you’re the lucky one she threw away, then.”
“Guess so,” I tell him as a strange relief pulses through me, realizing that after all this time, he really didn’t know. He was never keeping this secret from me and I feel myself yearning to trust him once again. Maybe our pack can be whole after all.
“You know what she did to land herself in prison, right?”
“Uh-huh, and I know that your name is Samuel and that you were the one to put her away.”
“Shit,” he sighs. “I’m assuming Tully and Noah know all this too?”
I cringe. “Yeah, I mean, how could they not? They’re our pack and keeping secrets from them isn’t helping us. You should have told them about your mom years ago. They would have understood and you wouldn’t have had to hide yourself from them.”
“Trust me, it’s so much more than my mom. My life isn’t good and they’d be smart to stay far, far away from it.”
“Let me guess, because your father wants you to take over the family business one day?”