“It’s my fault. All this is my fault. I was terrified, Charlotte, of losing you the way Adriana lost Elijah. Her pain… it’s unfathomable. So, I did the only thing I know how… I pulled away. Distancing myself from you because I was terrified that if I continued to be this happy, the hurt would kill me if anything happened to you. I would die a slow, excruciating death just like Adriana.”
“You’re my husband,” I sob, my body shuddering. “You’ve hurt me beyond comprehension, but I can’t imagine life without you. You’ve left me no choice.”
“I can’t begin to tell you how sorry I am. I didn’t know how to deal with this. I was so angry, at everyone, at the whole world.”
“The grief, Lex, swallowed all of us.”
The truth hurts more than anything, and no matter what, we can’t erase the pain we all feel over losing Elijah.
He wraps his arms around me, burrowing his face into my neck, but I pull away, desperate for distance as anger sweeps through me like a gust of wind, now remnants after the wildest of storms. I can’t deny the hurt, but I refuse to give him back so easily what he wants.
All of me.
“You got what you wanted, Lex, you needed to fuck me, and it’s done.”
“What do you mean I got what I wanted? Charlotte, I—”
I raise my hand toward his face, shutting down his plea before it even begins. He expressed his feelings, showed some sort of remorse for his actions, but I need time to process, not throw myself back at him like everything is somehow now okay.
“I need to go back inside,” I tell him, unable to look into his eyes as my gaze wanders over the ground. “You might have unloaded your baggage, but mine is still packed and ready to leave.”
“No…” he bellows, shaking his head while running his fingers through his hair in obvious denial of what we have become. “You cannot leave me! I won’t sign those papers.”
“I need time, okay? You can’t just ambush me tonight, of all nights, after months of treating me this way and expect me to fall back into your arms like all is right in the world. You want to fix what you broke? Then don’t push me.”
I turn around, taking steps away from him as my chest tightens from the overwhelming emotions all brought on by his presence. So easily, I could have fallen into his arms and pretend like this never happened. But I want him to feel my pain, understand what it means to be in a marriage. To respect your partner, through sickness and in health, even if that is comprised due to someone else in your family.
“Are you going back inside to be with him?”
The despair is his tone halts my movement. Jealousy is a curse so powerful it can tear even the strongest of people apart. It’s relentless in its fight for attention, cunning like no other in manipulating your thoughts into scenarios your imagination conjures up with sometimes no substance. And I know Lex all too well. His thoughts are misplaced because he sees Julian as a threat, rather than having faith in me despite my earlier admittance when I told him that Julian may have been an easier choice, but easy doesn’t mean it’s right.
Easy doesn’t validate what the heart wants.
What my soul needs.
Refusing to turn around, I keep my back toward him. “Goodbye, Lex.”
I don’t validate his question, nor give him another spiel on love or vowels. Instead, I continue my walk back into the ballroom to finish what I came here for.
After a quick restroom stop to fix my hair and makeup, which make me look presentable again and not like a train wreck of a wife who just got fucked by her screwed-up husband, I make the rounds talking with as many people as I can.
Shortly after, I call our team onto the stage to make a speech, mainly to thank everyone for attending.
“On behalf of myself, my partner, Nicole Romano, and our team, we thank you for joining us this evening to raise money for this great cause.”
A round of applause erupts, and despite my resistance to speak in front of such a loud crowd, the outcome outweighs my own insecurities. As my eyes wander across the room with a gracious smile, they stop at Lex, who’s standing beside Adriana. Despite our earlier fight and his desperate plea for me to not leave him, there is a different expression on his face. Almost proud if I care to be honest.
I remember, a few months back, as our business began to grow here in L.A., Lex warned me of my attention needing to be redirected to other areas, hence hiring more staff. I recall asking him questions, and it led to discussing his presence in the business world. The more he spoke, the more I became fascinated with his alter ego, Lex Edwards—billionaire mogul. His confidence is never misplaced, and when it comes to conventions, summits, or anything involving public speaking—he is an absolute natural.
At this moment, in front of a few hundred guests, I beg some of his confidence to rub off on me. Taking a deep breath, I find the strength to get through this. If I can handle everything life has thrown at me up until this moment, I can handle this one speech.
“Three months ago, our firm was approached by Marjorie Adams, community leader, at a women’s shelter downtown. Marjorie is an integral member of the community and has devoted years to rebuilding families.”
Marjorie is sitting at the table in front, encouraging me with her warm smile as do the team surrounding her.
“Both Nicole and I did not understand the severity of problems that existed at the shelter. However, with countless hours spent on-site, spending our time with families forced to seek housing at the shelter, we slowly began to grasp the enormity of the situation.
“The message is clear… our shelters are not only giving broken families a place to sleep and eat, but are also giving them hope. Children are educated, mothers are taught how to take care of their families. And so, our team at Mason and Romano are pleased to announce your contribution tonight will help Marjorie and her team continue to devote their time to those in need, and expand the premises to cater to more families in need.”