“I should have fought harder for you. I let him win.”
“It wasn’t a game, Julian.”
“But he won.”
“Did he?”
Fuck, I didn’t mean for that to come out. I’m hurting, wanting Lex to feel the same way. I want him to feel the pain of giving up on our marriage, on us. Julian will always be the dark cloud hanging over Lex’s ego, and perhaps, that alone pushes my senses to a place of irrationality.
“Gorgeous, I still love you.”
Julian’s stare is boring into me, causing a wave of emotions only adding to my confused state. He says the words every part of me wants to hear, the weight of his intention resting on my shoulders inducing a tightness in my chest.
But I crave to hear these words from my husband.
“Tell me you still feel the same,” he begs me with his eyes.
“Julian… I do still love you, but I’m not in love with you, and certainly not in the way you deserve to be loved. You can’t erase the past, and for a while, we were happy.”
“And now… leave him, Charlie. He doesn’t deserve you.”
“Maybe he doesn’t, Julian, but I made a commitment. I made vows… I carried his child. I can’t just let go of that.”
Julian remains quiet, his lips only inches from mine, and I know that if I don’t do something drastic at this moment, my marriage will be officially over. I move my head sideways and gently rest it on his shoulder. We continue to dance, our bodies so close that I’m heavily ignoring his hard cock pressed up against me. Like seriously, fucking kill me now.
My mind wanders to a future with Julian. How easy it would be to have a rational man by my side without the tainted past and trauma which hovers over my marriage. It would be easy and nice.
But he is not Lex.
He isn’t the father of my child.
And he will never own my heart the same way.
My stare moves toward the bar, and I see Lex standing there watching me intently, but this time his stare is of pure rage, the shade of his eyes dark and vengeful. It’s the same stare he gave me the moment he saw my engagement ring the first time we ran into each other at the restaurant—wide eyes, his neck muscles straining against his skin. His arms are folded flat against his chest, intimidating me with his controlling stance.
“Julian, I need to go…”
“Gorgeous, please stay. I need this,” he pleas, his hands wrapped tight around my waist refusing to let me go.
I reach down, removing them. “I can’t… I love him, Julian.”
“Don’t… please, just stay.”
I pull away as he holds onto my hand before I reluctantly let go.
With every step I take, my heart buries itself deeper into my chest. In true Lex style, his words will be callous and hurtful, sealing the fate of our marriage. I have never felt so alone despite being surrounded by family, friends, and colleagues. This journey to free myself from a man who no longer loves me will be the start to endless suffering, but perhaps, endless suffering in solitude is better than it being in the flesh every time you wake up.
“You’re late.”
“Does it matter?” he growls, nostrils flaring as his eyes widen. “Old habits die hard.”
“They certainly do, don’t they, Lex?”
He takes a swig of his bourbon, then grabs my wrist, pulling me toward the exit. I drag my heels, begging him to stop as I’m on the verge of tripping, but he doesn’t listen. Instead, he leads me down the path of the garden until we find ourselves in the parking lot. I recognize his car immediately, parked in the dark corner.
“Let go of me!”
He refuses to listen as he just stands, his eyes flashing with molten rage.