“What’s wrong with you?” I ask him.
“Dude, did you spike my drink?”
“What? No, why?” My eyes divert to his pants where a huge boner is sticking out. “Oh…”
“Fuck, then what the hell?”
It clicks, and as I stand there, I watch the other men noticing they all have a similar expression. BJ is happily getting a dance from two girls in the corner, so his wood is expected, and the same goes for Uncle Hank. Elijah and Finn keep adjusting their pants, squirming uncomfortably and attempting to avoid eye contact with the girls who dance around them. My dad is at the bar with Mark, both of them with their legs crossed, having what looks like an incredibly uncomfortable conversation. Eric stands next to us as quiet as a church mouse, his face barely able to hide the mischievous grin, and I know, without a shadow of a doubt, he’s the reason why there’s enough blood pumping on this yacht to fuck all the women of America.
Viagra.
“What’s up, guys? Or should I say, who’s up?” Eric bursts out laughing.
“You’re dead meat, Kennedy,” Rocky threatens
“All I can say is thank God! For a second, I thought the granny gave me that boner.” I breathe a sigh of relief, unable to contain myself for minutes on end.
***
I walk through the rose bush, cussing at the thorns scratching my arm until Rocky turns to look at me, warning me to shut the fuck up and quit wailing like a baby.
We left the yacht, boners and all, with an attempt to spy on the women.
Elijah declines giving us a lecture about trusting the woman you love. The rest head back to the hotel to get ready for the ceremony. We still have two hours, plenty of time to get in a sneak peek.
We run behind a tree and dart for the playhouse. The party is at Finn’s place, and he knows exactly where we can get the best view.
“Okay, we made it. Open that window, and we’ll be able to see,” Finn whispers.
“Ow, what the fuck is this?”
Finn warns Rocky to keep his voice down.
“You’re sitting on a teacup.”
We remain still as we watch them on the porch, the three of us shocked by what we see. Apart from the dick paraphernalia overload, the waiters are dressed in nothing but a leather thong, collar, and mask. One of them even has a chain which Nikki is not afraid to use. I search for Charlotte, and she’s laughing uncontrollably as Eric animatedly talks. No doubt it’s about the granny story.
It doesn’t take him long before he shouts that the entertainment’s here.
Entertainment?
And then we hear the sirens go off, and low and behold, Eric yells, “Does anyone here have burning loins?”
Nikki cheers loud along with Kate as three bulked-up men appear in firefighter costumes. Ridiculous.
“Do not look at me, okay? They’re not actual firefighters. In fact, I wouldn’t be surprised if they are gay or something,” Finn mutters.
I pray to the gay God of Dorothy that they are.
Ginuwine’s ‘Pony’ plays in the background as Nikki persuades Charlotte to sit on the chair. Now, I think she will be mortified, but she seems to enjoy it, her hands waving like she’s in some nightclub as a single woman. Fuck!
“That’s it, I’m going in,” I announce.
“Relax, would you? She’s not doing anything wrong.” Rocky attempts to diffuse the situation, but I’m ready to stop the entire party.
We watch on, and this time Jen stands and starts dancing with one. He pulls his suspenders off, bumping and grinding with Jen. She places her hands against his chest, running them along his torso.
“That’s it, I’m going in,” Finn grits.