I can’t help but smile until I notice Eloise walking toward my cubicle. Perfectly dressed in a pristine white, turtleneck dress, she appears somewhat cheerful as she greets me hello and bends down to kiss me like we’re the best of friends.
My conscience is on the run like a fugitive, leaving me to deal with that godawful emotion called guilt.
“Hi, Presley, are you free for lunch?”
“Uh… I’m kinda busy,” I lie.
“It’s really important. Hey, nice roses.”
She leans in to sniff them, and I thank God the card is still in my hands.
Reluctantly, I join her for lunch at another one of her green diet-friendly restaurants. She sits across from me sipping her lawn in a glass, flashing her bright white teeth.
“So, first, I know we haven’t had a chance to catch up, but I heard everything went well with your trip to visit your parents.”
“Yes, it did, thank you.”
“I’ve been so preoccupied with the wedding, so I haven’t been able to give you this.” She slides an envelope in front of me, and I see the fancy cursive writing on the front. Opening it slowly, I see that it’s their wedding invitation.
“The date on there is next week,” I say, trying to control my nervous stutter.
“Yes, we decided to move it closer. It’s only very close family and friends at my parents’ house, so changing the date wasn’t really an issue.”
“I’m not sure what to say. I feel like it would be uncomfortable for me to be there.”
“But you’re family. We’d really love to have you there.” She smiles.
My mind is reeling. Did he know this information last night? Surely, he had to. Then why did he go on and on about it just being us. Or is my brain reading way too much into this?
“How’re things going with the pregnancy?”
“Fine. Five weeks to go,” I respond with my best poker face.
“I’m kind of excited to say this, but since we’re like family, and I feel like I can really open up to you… Haden and I are trying to have a family.”
“You’re trying for a family?” I stare at her in disbelief.
“Yes. We spoke about it briefly, but I thought, why not go off the pill now? Anyway, before he left for L.A., we had quite a night.” She leans in. “We did it three times that night. I really think we made a baby.”
The sound of my heart shattering into a million pieces echoes throughout the room, or at least that’s how it feels. I feel a stabbing pain, its persistent jabs creating deep, unfounded wounds. I’m infuriated with him, with her, at myself for believing that this fucked-up story would become a fairy tale.
“It will be perfect. Our babies can grow up together. I told Haden this morning that I had a gut feeling about it.”
“What did he say?” I can barely speak.
“He seemed pretty tired, but he said that if I’m pregnant, then we probably should get a bigger place for both of the babies.”
“Both babies?” This time I don’t hold back my animosity.
“He didn’t tell you?” Her face falls. “I was really hoping he did. He wants to file for joint custody. A week on, a week off type of arrangement.”
Under the table, my hands sweat profusely as my blood begins to boil. “When did he tell you this?”
“We’ve been speaking about it for a while, but late last night we talked about it again. He’s got the papers drawn up.” She pulls an envelope out of her bag.
I can barely see. I’m fueled by anger, and every shade of red is blinding me. My stomach is twisted into heavy knots, and I feel like I’m going to be sick. “I need to go.”
Dizzy, I stand and leave her behind as she calls after me.