“Because it’s awkward.”
“Maybe for you. I’ve swept it under the rug as you suggested.”
“What?” I shake my head, trying to process the enormity of another pile of shit added to my overgrowing doorstep. Working with him would mean I would have to talk to him, interact outside of working hours, and maintain a composed and professional relationship. There is no way in hell this will work, and even if I give it my best, his cocky attitude will only cause another fight between us. This all seems too much and makes me tired just thinking about it.
He opens his mouth to say something, but I interrupt him, noticing the time on the wall.
“I have to go.”
I stand up and walk toward the door without saying goodbye.
“We’re supposed to be discussing work. You can’t just leave,” he hisses.
“I have somewhere I need to be. I’ll be back later.”
He doesn’t seem pleased with my answer. “Where?”
It’s not the moment to tell him that I’m off to my sixteen-week scan. This lying is so draining, so I do the next best thing—I put on my bitch panties and unleash.
“None of your business, Jerk!”
I storm out of the room, then out of the building, hailing a taxi as I rush to my appointment.
Flustered, I barely make the appointment, and the receptionist ushers me to the room quickly. I’m instructed to undress and lie on the bed. As I settle in, the sonographer arrives and briefly explains what she’ll be doing today since it’s my first time.
Everything is going according to plan. The baby measures right, things and bits are in the correct positions. Not much to report, apart from the lack of emotion I feel. I always envisioned it differently. I’d be holding my husband’s hand as we both cry at the sound of the heartbeat. Instead, I squirm uncomfortably from the gallon of water I am forced to drink while staring at a screen and pretending to know what I’m looking at, not to mention the copious amounts of warm lube spread all over me.
When she is finished, she gives me a picture of the baby.
I stare at it the entire taxi ride back to the office. Because I haven’t felt the baby move, and the fact that I’m still in utter shock about being pregnant, the so-called attachment I’m supposed to feel is missing. According to a pregnancy book I picked up over the weekend, many women have already bonded with their baby at this point, and there’s some bullshit about how it forms part of the mother-child bond after birth.
Great, my kid is going to hate me.
Back in the office, I drop my purse to the floor beneath my desk and make my way to one of the spare boardrooms, counting down the minutes until it’s
time to go home, something I rarely do.
“Oi!” Clive scans the area and pulls me aside. “What’s the gossip with Haden getting engaged?”
“I know just as much as you… I think. Why? What do you know?” I pry.
“Dee is throwing a temper tantrum. I think she was hoping to pick up from where they left off.”
“But Dee has Big Daddy now.”
“Big Daddy has a big wife that caught wind of Dee.”
“No!” I gasp. “Listen, I have to get to a meeting, but I want full details tomorrow. I swear, Clive, you really should work for the Inquirer.”
“I know, my talents are beyond wasted here.”
Upon entering the room, I see Haden sitting at the table with his laptop and coffee. He doesn’t make eye contact with me and seems engrossed in whatever’s on his screen. Probably porn.
“Make this quick,” I complain. “I want to go home.”
“You’re the one pushing for this erotic make-believe story, not me.”
“What’s your problem with it? Obviously, Mr. Sadler has no issue, and neither does everyone else,” I point out in a huff.