His jeans haven’t even hit the ground before he slams into me.
I scream out his name, panting and moaning right along with him. His fingers dig into my skin and I’m sure as hell it will bruise, but I don’t give a shit. I’m sure my nails have probably cut into his skin by now, but it’s not like he’s stopping me.
He slams into me over and over again, his lips still crushed against mine, right until the end when he helps me find the release we’re both desperately searching for.
There’s nothing better than angry sex. I don’t give a shit what anyone says, I will forever stand by it. Emotions are wild and when you’re at breaking point, there’s only one way to solve it, you know, considering you’re not about to break out into a brawl, of course.
Talking will only go so far and Noah’s never really been one for talk. He prefers to show me how he feels and it’s always in the best kind of ways.
He pulls out of me but doesn’t let me go as he hangs his head on my shoulder, breathing me in as we both catch our breath. His hands curl around my back holding me close to him as he spins us around, putting his back against the wall.
Noah slides down until he’s on the ground with me sitting in his lap. “I shouldn’t have yelled at you this morning,” he murmurs, raising his head until his eyes are piercing right into mine.
I shake my head, agreeing with him. “No, you shouldn’t have, but I shouldn’t have brought up Lily. That was a low blow.”
“You bet your ass, it was,” he grumbles, taking a deep breath and slowly releasing it.
I silently watch him, studying the lines of his face, getting lost deep in thought as he watches me right back. “Why’d it hit you so hard?” I ask, treading carefully. “Surely, you must know how she’d feel about it.”
He looks down, taking his eyes from mine and unknowingly killing me inside. His hands remain on my waist, his thumbs sailing back and forth over my warm skin. “I know exactly how she’d feel about it,” he murmurs, refusing to look up as though he’s ashamed of himself, killing me all over again. “She’d fucking hate it. You were right, she’d be ashamed of me.”
“Noah,” I whisper, holding onto him a little tight, wishing I could somehow take away his pain.
“Lily was too young to know anything about Anton,” he continues, “but every fucking time I go to work for him, it’s all I can think about, knowing she’d be looking down on me and seeing that. It makes me fucking sick. She’d hate it.”
“You can’t do this to yourself,” I tell him, tipping his chin to force him to look back up at me. “You need to stop.”
“As much as I want to, it’s not that easy.”
“Why not?” I question. “Surely, you must have paid off your debt to him. You’ve been working for him for years.”
“It doesn’t work like that,” he explains. “When a guy like Anton does you a favor, you’re selling your soul to him. He owns me now and there’s not a damn thing I can do about it. Having me and Rivers around is far too convenient for him, he’ll never let us go. We know the area, we know the people, we don’t show fear, and we can just about talk our way out of anything. We’re fucking gold mines to him.”
“But-”
“No, buts,” he says, cutting me off with a tight, apologetic smile. “Trust me, if there was a ‘but’ we would have gotten out a long time ago.”
“So, you actually want out?”
“Of course, I do,” he says, leaning in and gently pressing his lips to mine. “You think I like seeing the look on your face every time I have to go do a job? You think I like hiding it from my parents and knowing that Lily would be rolling in her grave if she knew. No way in hell.”
I let out a breath and lean forward, resting my forehead against his. “I’m sorry,” I tell him. “I didn’t mean to hurt you.”
“Spitfire,” he sighs. “Baby, you didn’t. You just reminded me how much I hated myself. I am a disappointment.”
“You’re not,” I tell him. “You’re the best person I’ve ever known. You’re so strong and loyal. It’s part of the reason I love you so much and it kills me that I said those things to you this morning. You kicked me out of your car and I was so angry, the words just came out. Please, don’t be mad at me. I can’t take it anymore.”
He smiles up at me. “How could I possibly be mad at you?”
“You yelled at me.”
“You yelled at me,” he fires back.