As I leave the restaurant with Austin still holding my hand, he remains quiet as we wait on the sidewalk for a cab. When one pulls over, he ushers us in before giving my address to the driver.
“I’m taking you home.”
“Uh, okay, sure.”
The cab ride is quiet, and I distract myself with my phone until we exit and take the elevator up to my apartment.
“Who was that guy?”
“Which guy? The one at the bar?”
Austin doesn’t say anything, keeping his gaze fixed on me.
“Lochie is just someone I know.”
“Someone you know, or someone you’ve been with?” Austin questions with a hard stare.
“I haven’t been with Lochie,” I tell him honestly. “We met a few months ago before I found out I was pregnant.”
“Is that it?”
My head
flinches back, confused as to where this sudden outburst has come from. Maybe I’m not the only one with pregnancy hormones here.
“We exchanged numbers and were going to have dinner, but then this happened.” I point to my stomach.
“So what if I wasn’t there tonight?”
“Wouldn’t change anything. I’m pregnant with your baby, and I’m not exactly looking to date anyone.”
I open the door to my apartment and motion for Austin to follow. My feet ache from the heels I wore, making each step unbearable.
Austin removes his jacket, then takes a seat on the sofa beside me. With his hands shrouding his face, I assume tonight has caused him more stress which explains this bizarre interrogation of my personal life.
“Tonight was a lot. I’m sorry, you know what my dad is like.”
“It was fine. I’ve gone through worse with Lex.”
Now, it’s my turn to fall into a funk. But as I watch Austin beside me, leaning back with his shirt slightly unbutton and sleeves now rolled up. I try to ignore the fluttering sensation in my chest and beg my heart to stop racing. Then, I shuffle uncomfortably beside him, ignoring my raging hormones that turn my mind into a pornographic parade.
“Do you still think about Millie?”
Austin shifts his glance. “Ava, c’mon, really?”
“You guys were together for a long time, and she was your first.”
“That she was. There have also been many women after her.”
“But still.”
“Still what?”
“Never mind.”
The past will always be the baggage we carry wherever we go. But as I sit here next to a man who will be the father to my child, I can’t help but wonder just how we’ll get through this because right now, my thoughts are impure.
Austin looks deliciously sexy.